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2010-03-14T22:14:00.001-04:00

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Dear god

2008-08-03T22:27:00.002-04:00

Having just read every single post I ever made on this lousy website, I wish to express my sincerest apologies for the complete shit that I have been pestering you about reading in the time period of 10/04-10/06. Additionally, I would like to show my gratitude to what has been a shockingly loyal readership by updating frequently. I PROMISE!!!!!!!!

A short one to tide you over

2008-08-03T21:08:00.003-04:00

Yeah yeah I take too long to update. Sue me.

I dedicate this post to the breed of moron that begin their answering machine messages thus: "Hi/hello, you've reached [insert brainless cretin here]."

OH REALLY? I'VE REALLY REACHED YOU? THEN WHY AREN'T I TALKING TO YOU, DUMBASS?

Honestly, if people can't even be bothered to express a very simple message without resorting to a tired phrase that means the exact opposite of what they are trying to get at, what hope is there for humanity? I elect this group to be summarily executed, right after idiotic MTA employees who install subway advertisements backwards. Let's try and have some standards here, people!

Up in Smoke: The (quicky-dissipating) Joys of Smoking pt. 2

2008-07-07T05:00:00.004-04:00

Hello, my fine and (hopefully) extant readership! I am back with more of that vitriol tonic, that medicated bile, that fix of anger, that illegally-prescribed hate that you love so much.

This article, as you may well have put together, is my reaction to the anti-smoking fervor that has gripped the planet. OK, folks, we get it already. Nothing is more important than you and yours. I'm not saying I'm not looking out for #1, but honestly! you don't see me writing letters to congressmen asking them to ban offensively bad taste or lobbying to end the lives of countless mental incompetents. It's just that I'm a tolerant guy.

We have to look at this smoking thing from two angles, the civil rights issue and the health issue. The former is not a difficult one to argue. No government can justifiably prohibit activities that either harm no one, only harm the individual participating in the activity, or harm consenting adults. Unfortunately, second-hand smoke couldn't be left alone, and now we are in murky territory concerning the harm smoking brings upon others.

From a statistical standpoint, I can't argue that second-hand smoke is harmless, except to question that these scientists aren't just lying to us at the behest of government and industry. As likely as that is, for the sake of argument, we'll say the facts are straight. So, second-hand smoke kills. 53,000 American non-smokers a year. A whopping 0.02% of the population. It just screams health crisis to me!

The main issue I have with these cries for justice and the well-being of the population is that it comes from people who DO NOT analyze their behaviors. They take these studies as gospel and jump on whatever bandwagon the study is concerned with, failing to realize that every other aspect of their lives is just as damaging to the public health and global state. For example, it strikes me as ridiculous that a city as polluted as New York could possibly benefit from a smoking ban. Not that they will ever be done, but I'd like to see a study on the effect of car exhaust on respiratory disease. Hell, why stop there? What about heavy industry? Construction? Demolition? The data does not exist, but common sense would dictate that these factors contribute to illness far more significantly than inhaling smoke at a bar.

To migrate from the main point a bit, I want to focus on the smoking ban in restaurants and bars. I don't see what the public health has to do with consensual exposure to smoke. I should state the obvious: NO ONE IS AT ALL CONFUSED ABOUT THE DEADLINESS OF SMOKE. So, when someone goes to a bar and has a cigarette, and another consumer walks into a cloud of smoke, neither of them will wake up in the future in an indignant rage, cursing the government for allowing such a product as cigarettes to exist. For fuck's sake, if you had any common sense and were concerned for your health, you wouldn't be drinking in bars in the first place.
Assuming people are making informed decisions based on facts (a dangerous assumption, I know, but you are aware of my stance: if people refuse to think about anything, fuck 'em, they should die), doesn't it stand to reason that the invisible hand of the market would sort this matter out? Those who prefer to smoke and be in the company of smokers can go to bars where people smoke, and those who don't can go to the next fucking bar. Come on people, it's not as if there aren't thousands of bars in this city. Just go to a bar that serves your particular(ly stupid) clientele. Correspondingly, if, like the uppity bitch that started this whole mess, you are just too fragile to work in a smoky environment, I have a simple solution for you: WORK SOMEWHERE ELSE!!!! Can we momentarily consider the idiocy of taking second-hand smoke out of bars where it only harms those who aren't bothered and putting it on sidewalks where it does actually affect the public health? Nice thinking, Bloomberg! Remind me to push you into traffic.

To wrap this up: listen, all you anti-smokers out there, until you clean up your act and erase your ugly footprint from the earth by reducing your need for imported crap and fancy gadgetry, ease up on the moral crusading, would ya? It's fucking annoying, and moreover fucking wrong.

Expect more rants like this on such prosaic subjects as drunk-driving and cop-killing!

404: Time Not Found

2008-07-07T04:04:00.003-04:00

Since I last updated (and I don't mean a week ago, you moron!), I have had a few experiences worth note. Unfortunately, I had to reformat my computer and lost all of my chatlogs which are the only way I can recall those memories, so I'll just give you a brief fly-by:

December: Still in school (cue epic foreshadowing music) and cold. Christmas break markedly lamer than last year's acid-fest at Nikolai's house. Still, drinks were drunk and a good time was had by all.

January: Boring, anti-climactic New Years, but that is how I like it. All the cool kids get drunk on the roughly 330 days of the year that aren't holidays. Moved out of the folk's house for the second time, after much delay and consternation about a stove. The first of many "mega-parties" occurs, and the USA is well represented by me against a paltry offering by Australia in the first annual winter drinking Olympics.

February: A waning interest in school marks this month, spurred by the hugely obvious revelation that my classmates are supreme dunces. Many beers had by all.

March: I ostensibly drop out of school at this point and begin looking for a job. Life is bleak, meaningless, and monotonous. Even drugs and alcohol begin to lose their lustre.

April: It is around this time that Teo begins hosting parties at his house, attended by various degenerates at various degrees of degeneration. Beer replaced by liquor as the official drink of the USA team. 4/20 is such a disaster that I consider giving up weed for good, but settle on reduced use. To elaborate, the 4/20 plan was to get copious amounts of weed, smoke it, eat weed cookies, have a decent BBQ and then make merry afterwards with my closest and most cherished friends. The dealer flaked, the cookies were weak, the BBQ occurred during debilitating darkness and the meat was nearly raw on the inside and charred black on the outside. There were no utensils and burns were suffered by all. After this fiasco, we returned to my house and finally managed to "cop", but, just as things were finally taking a turn for the groovy, some assholes who will remain unnamed (just kidding, fuck you Victor and Nick) assaulted me with their sheer disregard for my ears.

May: Same as April, fucked up and depressed.

June: Hurray! I'm a 20-year-old failure! At least that's how the month begins. However, I finally begin to regain my notorious disregard for my own well-being and start to enjoy myself again. I also finally realize just how good I am at music and decide to adopt Nick as my hapless young ward. Much time is spent practicing in various forms of consciousness, and many well-played, though ill-attended, shows are performed by the Sedgwick Machine. Additionally, Oliver's party season begins and I'm introduced to some very interesting people. Tangentially, new-age hippies are a pathetic and ineffectual lot who care more about jerking each other off and selling over-priced bullshit than actually contributing anything to society (I'm looking at you, Chapel of Sacred Mirrors).

July: So far, no job, but I'm optimistic, even if naively. Hopefully I'll have some good luck soon, else I reckon it's hanging time!

That concludes this segment of Eli Lamb: The Greatest Mind of the 21st Century. Come back next time for some real, down-home jokery!

P.S. R.I.P George Carlin

Crazed Productivity!

2008-07-01T05:39:00.003-04:00

Hello folks! I thought it would be nice to combine one constantly-begged-for update with one I just thought of a few days ago.

The list of things I would beat my children for being (also to be included in the 9/10's plan):

1. Vegans: All cliched criticsm aside, the only reason your lifestyle is possible is because you don't actually have to work to make your food, you hypocritical cheesecunts! All cliched critism brought to the forefront, Vegans are annoying, stupid and useless. Fuck 'em all.

2. Pro-lifers: Listen up you rich, lazy shitbags, It's obvious you just want more parentally-ignored, obediant workers. Soon, I hope, the brains of humanity will understand the huge danger in your selfish, yokel consumerism; copious child birth is the most catastrophic of consumeristic calamities!

3. Anti-gun folks: Let's get the obvious contradiction aside: the same folks who claim to live in the name of social justice and truth are trying to eliminate access to the tools necessary to accomplish those aims. Did you think the American Revolution was won with "edgy" youtube videos and blog posts? The other crutch of this functionally retarded segment of the population is the claim that "citizens in need can rely on the police and therefore do not require individual protection". Have these people ever dealt with crime, much less the police? The only thing the police can do is dish out punishment, not prevent crime. Just another bunch of army-type morons whose sole pleasure is the domination or murder of others. The police will not save you or your family when a psychotic killer comes for you. They'll just check the DNA in the cum stains and find the criminal. They'll execute him, sure, but what good will that do you, you dead fuck?

That's all for tonight, folks. This list will be updated occaisonally, so if you see "vegans" at the top of my page, i've probably updated the list and your lazy ass can just scroll down to the next scourge of humanity! Maybe it'll even be you!

A revelation

2008-07-01T05:17:00.002-04:00

And a promise of more updates to come!

Revelation: I've found the true textbook, functional definition of happiness!

Happiness is directly proportional to how much of a pain the ass it would be to die at a certain moment (the moment in question of happiness).

For those of you too stupid to understand English syntax, here is an example that even your few synapses will activate for:

From personal experience, I was less pissed to be fatally run over by a truck when I had no job, but now that I'm doing things (note: last 3 words [4 if you count I'm as 2 words] constituted a lie) I don't want it to happen.

Don't take my confused ramblings for it, Just think of a "good time in your life". Would you have been really sad (as a ghost) to have died at this time? Then you were happy, you moron! Get off the zoloft and just do whatever makes you feel like you would be said sad ghost!

reader suggestions/ Voter apathy

2007-11-18T03:14:00.000-05:00

What the fuck man. I'm really drunk, so I can't think of anything to write about. What do I do? I turn to my readers for answers. Well ain't that cute. BUT IT'S WRONG!!!!! Seriously, y'all, this may be reminiscent of 8th grade, but goddamn are you motherfucker stupid and uncreative. So much so that I value my homework over your paltry suggestions. So here goes: Voter apathy:

Vote or… don’t
America is a nation of choice. The concept is almost inescapable, from the new flavor of your favorite chips to the color of your cellphone to who will stay on your favorite T.V. show; the American way seems to be “you choose!” It is strange, therefore, that over half of the United State’s population (50.7% in the 2000 election) should choose to ignore the opportunity to make the most important choice they can: voting in government elections.
There are a number of reasons, or more appropriately, rationalizations, that half a nation of idle people don’t do right by their country and vote. Many people are under the impression that their votes aren’t going to affect the course of the election and so it would be a waste of energy to go out and vote. Others have lost faith in the election process and even its integrity and declined to vote for that reason. Yet another is the physical work needed to vote; not only is there a very bureaucratic registration process to endure, but often times many miles will lie between a person’s home and nearest voting facility. For some, the misguided notion that they oughtn’t let their ignorance of the issues and candidates’ stances on those issues affect the election. The biggest factor in voter apathy, however, is the idea that the country (or in the face of globalization and looming world-wide environmental catastrophe, the world) is going to hell in a hand basket anyway, so voting serves no purpose. This current election is a fantastic illustration of that phenomenon, as the United States’ political machine has somehow managed to spit out a slew of candidates more irrational and incompetent than the much-reviled George W. Bush.
The effects of voter apathy are far-reaching. The main and most devastating of these is that the people in this country to whom voting is most important are radicals. At this point in history, the two opposing radical sects that vote the most and therefore have the most clout are fanatic moralist Christians on the Right and fanatic moralist humanists on the Left. Globally, those that would be self-determining are faced with an ironic and somewhat stupefying choice: Use it or lose it. If it isn’t in the name of Jesus or saving people from themselves and each other, almost every single presidential hopeful running in the 2008 election is standing on a platform of control and moral legislation. It cannot be stressed enough that anyone who cares about democracy, liberty, and the power of the United States constitution is bound by duty to vote in every election, and more than that, vote with their actions.
As much as I’d like to, I cannot place all of the blame on the voters. I stated before that a leading reason for voter apathy was that many voters have lost faith in the election process. Unfortunately, the election process is a ridiculously inefficient and discouraging one. In days of old, members of the Electoral College would act as campaigners, going from door to door explaining the stance of their candidate and taking votes, and voting themselves in reflection of the votes they collected. It was decided that the point at which their vote collection would transform into a direct electoral vote was at the state level. In these times of mass media and instantaneous information access, the logistics of campaigning no longer require such a staff, and if the electoral college was replaced with a direct democracy, people living in states that lean predominantly towards one political party or another would have their votes count towards their supported candidate instead of lost in a state-wide landslide. Another solution to the voting problem that would most likely furnish decent candidates would be to do away with the primary voting system. Especially in the upcoming elections, where a rational voter may agree with points on both sides of the party line, voters are limited to registering and voting for those in their official party, limiting their ability to choose the candidate that’s really right for them. Ron Paul, running in the Republican Party, is the perfect example of this aspect. He is a champion of issues that both republicans and democrats agree with, but because he is limited to votes from his party, democrats who are trying to implement damage control to assure that fascists like Hillary Clinton don’t win the Democratic primaries can’t also assure that Ron Paul will win against fascists like Rudy Giuliani. It’s all very complicated, but I guarantee that eliminating the primaries would allow people to let their voice be heard, giving salience to their votes and consequently voting incentive.
Historically, the most effective tactic to battling voter apathy is legally requiring citizens to vote. In countries like Australia where voting is compulsory, voter turnout runs at about 90%. It may seem a bit hypocritical to instate a law to protect choice, but as the old saying goes: “You can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.”

Fuck the troops

2007-11-15T21:35:00.000-05:00

Incidentally, fuck my last update. You won't be seeing your requested transformed into flowing prose anytime soon (yeah yeah too late, fuck you for that too!) so here's some real shit, yo.

I don't know if my readership has been keeping up with politics lately, but if they haven't, allow me to inform: It's the race to the 2008 seat of stupidity, and aside from meaningless banter about healthcare or economics, the hot topic of this campaign is the "war" in "Iraq". Among what most (lazy-minded) people would consider the rational candidates for representative of the people, the creed is "damn the war, bless the troops", the common belief being that even though the war is wrong, the troops are all heroes and victims. However, this could not be farther from the truth.

You must pardon the fact that I just wrote "this could not be farther from the truth". It was base and unoriginal, and I apologize. Moving on, let us consider some points. First, that there is no draft in place, so every soldier still serving has chosen to do so (it can be argued that not dodging the the draft in 'Nam was also choosing to go there, but I think in this case the semantics of "decision" are far more clear cut). Now let us see what that implies about the type of person who is being shipped off to maimery or death: They are obviously completely clueless about the reasons this war is going on, because any sane or good person would not take up arms unless that person's life or way of life was threatened. Would-be refuters would argue that the American way of life is being threatened, and I would agree, except that the source of the threat is certainly not from the Middle East. In fact, I postulate that the biggest threat to the American way of life is from within, but that's another update.

As I have said, aside from a direct threat to life and liberty, going to war is a dumb idea, but then why are so many people joining the military? Could it be because joining the army is a way to pay for college? That couldn't be, unless someone was so bereft of (in)tuition to to think that killing/getting killed was a clever alternative to getting a job, finacial aid, or a loan. So is it because soldier's desire to kill is so strong that they must join the military? It's possible, but it stands to reason that it would be much easier to just kill people locally, so travelling all the way to Iraq and going through training seems like a lot of trouble for something that could be more easily accomplished (and beneficial) at home.

That being said, I can safely say that most people enlist to fufill some ill-informed notion of freedom without realizing that government-employed, half-educated hicks running around with guns (or as the founding fathers described and eschewed as a "standing army") is as far as you could possibly be from furthering freedom. In fact, I don't feel too strongly for the police either, and current NYC events seem to show that the standards of professionalism and intelligence have fallen to a dismal level. That is why I say, "Fuck the Troops".

Many will ask, "Duh, what about the terrorists 'n' shit?!?!?" To that I will say: Fuckin' worry about it if it happens. If you are so super-worried you can't be consoled, then form a local militia. Tis the safe and Founding Fathers-approved method.

I'm so sorry

2007-09-27T12:20:00.000-04:00

I'm sorry for the last 5 months of garbage posts that I'm sure got all your hopes up and sent you home crying and cursing my name. Now I shall build you an update worthy of Mordor.

Oh fuck it, I'm a washed up old hack. Let's just have reader suggestions part II!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Folks!

2007-04-22T23:37:00.000-04:00

Not a lot has been happening these last few months or years or however long it's been since I last updated, so in lieu of a real update here's a little comic that should be familiar to veteran readers. Enjoy!

About how you only know how to show affection via anger, and perhaps what happened to bring that about. Also how and why you seem to argue non-stop wi

2007-02-07T23:08:00.000-05:00

th your best friends. Do you think that this is normal behavior?

Sorry, the subject spilled over, much like the whiskey that I just spilled all over my shirt.

To clear this one up, the suggester in this case, Eric, is someone who I go to whenever I'm drunk or high to see how cleverly mean I can be. To answer your question, Eric, I'm don't show affection save through generosity (ask nikolai, that money-grubbing rat-bastard!) and when I am an "asshole" online, it's because I really do think your opinions are wrong and invalid. I'm just trying to get you and these fags to see the light.

That being said, the distinction between you and every other asshole on the internet is that I also talk to you when I'm sober, and invite you over for the doobie snacks. You should be honored.

Is it normal behavior? If you mean by that "average person behavior", I will answer a whole-hearted NO. The average person can suck my dick.

My (as in eli's) secret love for smelling Nikolais balls when hes asleep is taking control of my life and he needs to know

2007-02-07T22:57:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry that this secret came out, but it's just that the smell of Nikolai's balls, which were just recently in jake smith's mouth smell like tic-tacs (what jake ate prior to sucking nikolai's balls.)

I'm not gay, I just spend a lot of time with Nikolai because he isn't an idiot like Jake Smith.

My Boobies

2007-02-07T22:41:00.000-05:00

No, we're not talking about my slight man-boobs, assholes, this request comes from the fair maiden Zoe.

What can I say about her boobs that couldn't be better expressed by the shit-eating grin on my face whenever I touch 'em? Only that she should just stop wearing shirts/bras altogether.

Matt Russell and the death of the American Dream

2007-02-07T22:30:00.000-05:00

First I would like to point out that Elan is a crippled asshole for suggesting this and I hope everything turns into stairs overnight. That being said, I would like to get into the subject at hand. First, Matt Russell. What can I say? The dude has his style and personality, which I hate (the feeling is mutual, I'm sure.) But he's an alright guy, if not a pre-judging, Clark-listening-to son of a bitch.

Now, onto the American Dream. First, what is the American Dream? Is it the idea that a man is free to do whatever he chooses, and accept responsibility for his failures and success? Then surely that dream is dead, as there isn't a goddamn person out there who wouldn't sue McDonalds for spilling hot coffee on their own damn lap, if they thought they could win. That takes care of the responsibility aspect. But that's only half of it. Can any man in this country do as he chooses? Increasingly, the answer is no. Be it spanking your snotty brat or smoking in a bar, the right to do anything is rapidly shrinking. Just today I read that some schmuck legislator is seeking to ban people from crossing the street while wearing headphones because some dumbass college kid (who else?) got hit by a bus while crossing the street and wearing headphones. I'm telling you, it's a sad state of affairs when a group of people votes to restrict itself, but that's exactly what we're seeing here and now. I really want to shoot every person I see at this point.

Sing me a song

2007-02-06T17:32:00.000-05:00

If you want me to update, put a subject in the comment field. I'll write about it, no questions asked.

Unearthed for the first time ever!

2006-10-27T05:12:00.000-04:00

The conversations I had with Sylvia after our breakup are quite hilarious. Even in my greatest moment of weakness, I am still the man:

I.
CrazedCommando (10:33:54 PM): hey
CrazedCommando (10:34:02 PM): fucing teo turned my comoputer off
CrazedCommando (10:34:51 PM): its clear that nowis a time to be sorting priorities
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:35:16 PM): school
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:35:17 PM): work
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:35:18 PM): sry
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:35:24 PM): socializing isn't very high on my list
CrazedCommando (10:35:35 PM): i see
CrazedCommando (10:36:10 PM): this is very, very painful
CrazedCommando (10:37:40 PM): ugh
CrazedCommando (10:38:39 PM): we seem to be communicating fine now
CrazedCommando (10:39:23 PM): at least I am
CrazedCommando (10:39:32 PM): *brick wall*
CrazedCommando (10:41:33 PM): c'mon, please talk
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:41:51 PM): lol
CrazedCommando (10:43:30 PM): what am I going to do
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:43:39 PM): wat's purgatory?
CrazedCommando (10:43:53 PM): a torturous middle ground between heaven and hell
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:44:05 PM): so is it a place of judgement?
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:44:15 PM): or just sufferin
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:44:16 PM): and where
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:44:20 PM): sins need to b purifed
CrazedCommando (10:44:54 PM): no, its just where unbaptized babies go, and you can go either way from purgatory, depending on your actions
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:46:51 PM): damn
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:46:55 PM): it's a place of judgement
CrazedCommando (10:47:08 PM): why?
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:47:26 PM): school stuff
CrazedCommando (10:48:09 PM): always the school stuff
CrazedCommando (10:49:33 PM): oh dearest
CrazedCommando (10:49:48 PM): please do not forsake our relationship
CrazedCommando (10:50:02 PM): i do not think my heart cold take it
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:50:24 PM): i'm not tryin to
CrazedCommando (10:51:28 PM): i know
CrazedCommando (10:51:41 PM): but still
CrazedCommando (10:53:23 PM): i think i need to come over tommorow
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:53:30 PM): NO WAY
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:53:34 PM): my siblings both home
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:53:35 PM): whole day
CrazedCommando (10:54:26 PM): well they were both home that time when your bro went nuts and i fingered you during jackie chan adventures
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:54:39 PM): still
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:54:41 PM): i can't anymopre
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:54:43 PM): anymoer*
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:54:47 PM): plz don't stress me out
CrazedCommando (10:55:32 PM): i dont want to
CrazedCommando (10:56:23 PM): but if for no other reason, i really need to quecnch my sexual desires
CrazedCommando (10:56:27 PM): not sex, per se
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:56:41 PM): lol
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:56:42 PM): k
CrazedCommando (10:56:51 PM): but i spent most of today mentally preparing to go to your house after school
CrazedCommando (10:56:56 PM): lay you donw on the bed
CrazedCommando (10:56:58 PM): and eat ya out
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:57:23 PM): lol
CrazedCommando (10:59:13 PM): I have this bruise on my fingernail, and when it was about halfway down the nail, i promised myself that before the bruise had completely came off, i'd orally service you
CrazedCommando (10:59:22 PM): i figure i have about a week left
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:59:34 PM): umm.... ok
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:59:36 PM): eli
StAr10009FoReVeR (10:59:44 PM): i think we shuld do an experiment u don't like
CrazedCommando (11:00:08 PM): pray tell, what experiment?
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:00:27 PM): a week like we're single and at the end we'll either miss our relationship or agree tat it was betta
CrazedCommando (11:01:12 PM): well i hate to say it but that's sort of what last week was like
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:01:47 PM): not really
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:01:50 PM): the idea was still there
CrazedCommando (11:02:03 PM): generally one experiments with separation when a couple has seen too much of each other
CrazedCommando (11:02:18 PM): i think we need just the opposite
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:02:49 PM): no
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:02:57 PM): cuz we can't do the opposite
CrazedCommando (11:03:22 PM): well if we cant ever do the opposite, then what good will this experiment do/
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:04:00 PM): prove something
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:04:32 PM): eli?
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:04:39 PM): cant' we just TRY it?
CrazedCommando (11:04:41 PM): well if we are to have such an experiment, i need to kiss you first
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:04:44 PM): we're both really young
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:04:52 PM): u can get a kiss at the end
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:04:56 PM): i can't see u recently
CrazedCommando (11:05:07 PM): that wont do
CrazedCommando (11:05:33 PM): im tortured inside every minute of every day thinkingof all the wasted opportunitites
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:05:35 PM): Eli this isn't something we BOTH have to agree on
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:05:39 PM): u do realize
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:05:42 PM): one person can decide
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:05:43 PM): rite?
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:05:52 PM): so tat outcome wuld b even worse than an experiment
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:06:00 PM): so i'm makin u choose
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:06:09 PM): permanently off or temporarily?
CrazedCommando (11:06:49 PM): well temporarily seems the obvious choice
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:07:12 PM): ok then
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:07:18 PM): don't mourn too much
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:07:26 PM): who noes u mite enjoy it more than u expect
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:07:30 PM): and don't contradict me
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:07:33 PM): just TRY
CrazedCommando (11:07:58 PM): i will try
CrazedCommando (11:08:07 PM): but i'll probably drink too
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:08:40 PM): ok well i can't control u now
CrazedCommando (11:08:44 PM): and i imagine that when teo leaves tommorow, i'll be destryoing my computer desk
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:08:51 PM): look
CrazedCommando (11:08:57 PM): and the next day i shall be tearing up my sheets
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:09:00 PM): this experiment cannot work wit u being so uncontrolled
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:09:13 PM): u need to act like normal if we weren't together
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:09:17 PM): NORMAL
CrazedCommando (11:09:42 PM): I am normally that destructive and volatile
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:09:46 PM): ok then
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:09:48 PM): do as u please
CrazedCommando (11:10:29 PM): well you may be subject to verbal abuse then
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:10:39 PM): ok
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:10:41 PM): i can take it
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:10:44 PM): and act NORMALLY
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:10:45 PM): as i wuld
CrazedCommando (11:11:21 PM): so, we're ending this mad scientist experiment next monday?
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:11:26 PM): lol
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:11:28 PM): night
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:11:34 PM): but
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:11:37 PM): depending on the result
CrazedCommando (11:12:04 PM): yes?
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:12:13 PM): we may or may not b together
CrazedCommando (11:13:05 PM): well that's all well and good, but I i ever find out that this was all just a cheap trick to leave me for a more convienient guy
CrazedCommando (11:13:16 PM): let's just say there'll be hell to pay
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:13:18 PM): lol
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:13:20 PM): LMAO
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:13:22 PM): ROFLMAO
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:13:42 PM): i think i'm gonna die from laughter
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:13:48 PM): ow my stomach hurts
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:14:00 PM): anyway
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:14:03 PM): this isn't a trick
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:14:06 PM): it's an EXPERIMENT
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:14:10 PM): i seriously wanna try out
CrazedCommando (11:14:22 PM): wmone are known to lie, you are no exception
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:14:35 PM): so i guess i'm just any women rite?
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:14:37 PM): well men lie too
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:14:39 PM): we all do
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:14:42 PM): we're not perfect
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:14:43 PM): but this time
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:14:47 PM): i'm simply experimenting
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:14:54 PM): and going to enjoy experimenting
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:15:03 PM): i'm only 14 u noe
CrazedCommando (11:15:08 PM): enjoy it...
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:15:16 PM): come on don't b so depressing
CrazedCommando (11:15:48 PM): So angry right now i cant even respond to that
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:16:04 PM): ok this is not makin things ne better
CrazedCommando (11:16:19 PM): this whole thing isnt making things any better
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:16:35 PM): so mayb we shuld jsut break up?
CrazedCommando (11:17:20 PM): well if for no other reason, i need you to hone my social skills
CrazedCommando (11:17:54 PM): i doubt there are many girls that would put up with my glaring incompetence
CrazedCommando (11:19:30 PM): so if i dont have my way with you (to some extent), I'll end up romantically mal-adjusted, angry and bitter
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:19:47 PM): umm
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:19:48 PM): eli
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:19:52 PM): not helping
CrazedCommando (11:20:34 PM): well i figure if we are to come to such a crossroads, you might as well know all the facts
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:21:00 PM): u noe
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:21:03 PM): wen u say things like tat
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:21:05 PM): in the end
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:21:11 PM): i'm just gonna end up feeling trappd
CrazedCommando (11:21:28 PM): well then i guess im just destined to live alone
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:22:12 PM): ARGH
CrazedCommando (11:22:23 PM): haha, that last one was a joke
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:22:54 PM): ok
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:22:55 PM): good
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:22:56 PM): anyway
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:22:59 PM): gtg sleep
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:23:00 PM): bye bye
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:23:01 PM): good nite
CrazedCommando (11:23:08 PM): have a good week
CrazedCommando (11:23:16 PM): i know i will
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:23:18 PM): sleep tight don't let the bed bugs bite
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:23:19 PM): lol
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:23:21 PM): tat's the attitude
CrazedCommando (11:23:33 PM): here comes the drug train!!!
CrazedCommando (11:23:35 PM): haha
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:23:37 PM): lol
CrazedCommando (11:23:41 PM): anyway, g'nite
CrazedCommando (11:24:07 PM): one last question
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:24:07 PM): ep
CrazedCommando (11:24:32 PM): did you mean every 143 and I love you? because I did
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:24:54 PM): i honestly don't noe
CrazedCommando (11:25:14 PM): well i guess you are only 14
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:25:36 PM): eli stop
CrazedCommando (11:25:49 PM): stop what?
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:26:06 PM): stop doing tat
CrazedCommando (11:26:34 PM): oh, asking depressing questions
CrazedCommando (11:26:38 PM): right-o
StAr10009FoReVeR (11:26:44 PM): bye byeStAr10009FoReVeR signed off at 11:26:49 PM.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

II.

CrazedCommando (12:11:30 PM): i had the weirdest dream
Auto response from StAr10009FoReVeR (12:11:32 PM): i find u ppl boring so i'm just gonna watch some TELE!!! :-D Well i'm jk about the borin part... for most of u... anyway im me if u want

StAr10009FoReVeR (12:12:02 PM): yes?StAr10009FoReVeR returned at 12:12:02 PM.
StAr10009FoReVeR (12:12:24 PM): lol
StAr10009FoReVeR (12:12:27 PM): i noe wat ur gonna say
StAr10009FoReVeR (12:12:30 PM): and yes
StAr10009FoReVeR (12:12:31 PM): it was real
CrazedCommando (12:12:32 PM): i had a dream that we were talking on aim and you came up with this kooky expewriment that lasted a week
CrazedCommando (12:12:35 PM): o lol
StAr10009FoReVeR (12:12:59 PM): well
StAr10009FoReVeR (12:13:10 PM): i gtg back to my studying and my sibs want the computer
StAr10009FoReVeR (12:13:12 PM): so i will ttyl
CrazedCommando (12:13:17 PM): ok byeStAr10009FoReVeR is away at 12:13:25 PM. StAr10009FoReVeR returned at 12:54:52 PM.
StAr10009FoReVeR (12:54:52 PM): ok we need to talk
StAr10009FoReVeR (12:55:17 PM): ELI
StAr10009FoReVeR (12:57:11 PM): argh
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:14:23 PM): ok eli
Auto response from CrazedCommando (1:14:24 PM): I am away from my computer right now.

StAr10009FoReVeR (1:14:26 PM): since ur away
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:14:29 PM): and not coming back
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:14:31 PM): for so long
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:14:34 PM): i'm just gonna
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:14:37 PM): leave u a message
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:14:43 PM): ok
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:14:46 PM): so here i go:
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:14:55 PM): Eli i can't believe i'm saying this
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:15:00 PM): but i lost my feelings for u
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:15:09 PM): they hadn't been there for a while now and i kept denyin it
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:15:14 PM): thinkin tat mayb it'll come back
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:15:20 PM): but i noe it's not gonna
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:15:23 PM): and i'm really sorry
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:15:32 PM): i didn't plan on any of this
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:15:39 PM): i just don't think this is gonna work out
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:15:52 PM): so
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:15:58 PM): i think we shuld just b friends
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:16:01 PM): wen u get back
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:16:02 PM): im me
CrazedCommando (1:19:44 PM): hello
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:19:54 PM): did u read all tat?
CrazedCommando (1:20:16 PM): yep
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:20:21 PM): .... i'm sorry
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:20:47 PM): are u gonna talk to me?
CrazedCommando (1:20:50 PM): yes
CrazedCommando (1:21:01 PM): well
CrazedCommando (1:21:12 PM): hmm
CrazedCommando (1:21:53 PM): there really isnt anything to be sorry about; if that's how you feel, so be it
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:22:06 PM): umm ok
CrazedCommando (1:22:18 PM): i cant say i didnt see this coming
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:22:31 PM): i was neva really good at the commitment thing
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:22:41 PM): i knew eventually i'd lose interest... i always do
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:22:46 PM): and this was the longest relationship ever
CrazedCommando (1:22:55 PM): nearly 6 months
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:22:58 PM): and i don't regret any of it
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:23:18 PM): yeah and the second longest was a month and two weeks (lost interest in one week)
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:23:24 PM): tat was wit jesse
CrazedCommando (1:23:30 PM): i see
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:23:40 PM): this one i actually had interest up until like some weeks ago
CrazedCommando (1:24:38 PM): i think you could hae at least done me the favor of telling me on the phone
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:24:56 PM): i was gonna
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:25:01 PM): but then my sibs were lingerin around
CrazedCommando (1:25:56 PM): well here's where i'd normally try to persuade you to reconsider
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:26:04 PM): yea...
CrazedCommando (1:26:25 PM): but I think it wouln't work
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:26:56 PM): no it wuldn't
CrazedCommando (1:27:36 PM): well i'd've liked some kind of parting... something
CrazedCommando (1:27:51 PM): but it's not necessary
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:28:01 PM): well
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:28:07 PM): we are gonna stay friends rite?
CrazedCommando (1:28:21 PM): i dont know
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:28:55 PM): y not?
CrazedCommando (1:29:46 PM): well
CrazedCommando (1:30:02 PM): we don't have that much common ground
CrazedCommando (1:30:22 PM): and not really much to be friends about
CrazedCommando (1:30:27 PM): to be brutally honest
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:30:54 PM): ok then
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:30:56 PM): suit urself
CrazedCommando (1:32:06 PM): agh
CrazedCommando (1:32:25 PM): this is just... bad on so many levels
CrazedCommando (1:33:34 PM): well i guess we can still talk
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:33:56 PM): yup
CrazedCommando (1:34:14 PM): well can i at least ask why you lost interest?
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:34:28 PM): i dunno
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:34:31 PM): it just sorta happened
CrazedCommando (1:36:17 PM): well im going to send you a song
CrazedCommando (1:36:20 PM): and elvis song
CrazedCommando (1:36:26 PM): very appropriate to the situationCrazedCommando wants to directly connect (1:36:29 PM). StAr10009FoReVeR is now directly connected (1:36:30 PM).
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:36:50 PM): as usual
CrazedCommando (1:36:52 PM):
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:36:53 PM): always an elvis song
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:38:44 PM): finallyThe connection with StAr10009FoReVeR was not successful. Make sure that your Buddy is using the latest version of AIM. Changing your settings in the Firewall preference may help. Also both you and your Buddy may need to adjust the settings of the firewall software on your individual networks (1:42:48 PM).
CrazedCommando (1:42:59 PM): didya hear the whole thing
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:43:10 PM): i'm in like the middle
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:45:29 PM): listened to all of it
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:45:37 PM): ur makin me feel guilty
CrazedCommando (1:46:17 PM): not trying to
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:46:23 PM): ok ok
CrazedCommando (1:46:55 PM): do you think there will ever be any chance that we may get back together?
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:47:30 PM): who noes
CrazedCommando (1:48:33 PM): is that just your inderect alternitave answer for "no"?
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:48:52 PM): no i'm just not sure
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:48:54 PM): i don't noe
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:48:56 PM): i can't control fate
CrazedCommando (1:49:15 PM): fate is what you make of it
CrazedCommando (1:52:03 PM): anyway, i dont think the effect of this has even his me yet
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:52:10 PM): ok
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:52:11 PM): well
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:52:15 PM): i dont noe wat to say
CrazedCommando (1:54:09 PM): there really isnt anthing left to say
CrazedCommando (1:54:48 PM): I can only hope that tommorow I'll come home from school and you'll say "I was wrong,lets go see a movie/have sex"
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:54:54 PM): LOL
CrazedCommando (1:56:52 PM): well at least i still make you laugh
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:56:58 PM): of course
CrazedCommando (1:58:05 PM): I say we give it the full week before jumping to any conclusions
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:58:10 PM): no
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:58:12 PM): sry
CrazedCommando (1:58:37 PM): the only conclusion i can draw is that there is another man
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:58:38 PM): bit
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:58:48 PM): wrong im
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:58:48 PM): anyway
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:58:50 PM): nope
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:58:55 PM): eli i told u
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:58:58 PM): i lost interest for weeks
StAr10009FoReVeR (1:59:02 PM): i just wasn't sure
CrazedCommando (1:59:57 PM): well why cant you give me a chance to make interest
StAr10009FoReVeR (2:00:25 PM): eli
StAr10009FoReVeR (2:00:28 PM): i'm not gonna reconsider
CrazedCommando (2:01:11 PM): then you were lying before when you said that you didnt know if we could get back together
StAr10009FoReVeR (2:01:20 PM): eli stop
StAr10009FoReVeR (2:01:29 PM): anything's possible
StAr10009FoReVeR (2:01:31 PM): but rite now
StAr10009FoReVeR (2:01:34 PM): i'm not gonna reconsider
CrazedCommando (2:03:59 PM): well this definitely ruined my week
CrazedCommando (2:06:50 PM): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
StAr10009FoReVeR (2:08:16 PM): stop
CrazedCommando (2:09:09 PM): why should I stop?
StAr10009FoReVeR (2:09:17 PM): it's frustrati
StAr10009FoReVeR (2:09:22 PM): frustrating
CrazedCommando (2:10:06 PM): as frustating as this whole situation
StAr10009FoReVeR (2:10:30 PM): yeah well i'm gonna cook rice now
StAr10009FoReVeR (2:10:32 PM): so bbl
CrazedCommando (2:10:42 PM): fine
CrazedCommando (2:43:08 PM): is your rice done?
StAr10009FoReVeR (2:43:14 PM): o shit
StAr10009FoReVeR (2:43:16 PM): sry i forgot
StAr10009FoReVeR (2:43:20 PM): i was doing my math hw
StAr10009FoReVeR (2:43:22 PM): after ward
StAr10009FoReVeR (2:43:24 PM): and sry
CrazedCommando (2:43:40 PM): afterwards
StAr10009FoReVeR (2:44:10 PM): o well now i gtg eat
StAr10009FoReVeR (2:44:14 PM): so sry
StAr10009FoReVeR (2:44:17 PM): i really amStAr10009FoReVeR is away at 2:44:32 PM.
CrazedCommando (2:44:36 PM): well its not like i have anything else to say, so enjoy your food
Auto response from StAr10009FoReVeR (2:44:36 PM): My insides tighten, My lips start to tremble, My soul is frightened, My whole world dissembles. My eyes water, My hands grow old, My happiness slaughtered, My body with too much of a load. My knees go weak, My worries grow, My emotions at a peak, And nobody would know...

CrazedCommando (2:45:12 PM): well you managed to sum up how I feel in a nice little poem
Auto response from StAr10009FoReVeR (2:45:12 PM): My insides tighten, My lips start to tremble, My soul is frightened, My whole world dissembles. My eyes water, My hands grow old, My happiness slaughtered, My body with too much of a load. My knees go weak, My worries grow, My emotions at a peak, And nobody would know...
StAr10009FoReVeR returned at 2:47:09 PM.
StAr10009FoReVeR (2:47:25 PM): eli u make things too awkward
CrazedCommando (2:48:13 PM): if you were expecting this to be easy, you were sorley mistakenStAr10009FoReVeR is away at 2:55:33 PM. StAr10009FoReVeR returned at 3:16:24 PM.
CrazedCommando (3:31:08 PM): howdy, friend
StAr10009FoReVeR (3:32:25 PM): lol
StAr10009FoReVeR (3:32:25 PM): hi
CrazedCommando (3:33:23 PM): what is your thought on friends with benefits
StAr10009FoReVeR (3:33:34 PM): lol
StAr10009FoReVeR (3:33:39 PM): wat sorta benefits?
CrazedCommando (3:33:58 PM): well i need somewhere to stick my toungue
StAr10009FoReVeR (3:34:11 PM): lol
StAr10009FoReVeR (3:34:21 PM): u wanna noe something?
StAr10009FoReVeR (3:34:27 PM): i hate makin out no matter who it is
StAr10009FoReVeR (3:34:33 PM): it culd b my soul mate
StAr10009FoReVeR (3:34:35 PM): i don't care
StAr10009FoReVeR (3:34:38 PM): ever since luke
StAr10009FoReVeR (3:34:41 PM): i hated makin out
CrazedCommando (3:34:46 PM): weird
StAr10009FoReVeR (3:34:51 PM): yup
CrazedCommando (3:35:16 PM): there are other things that one can do out
CrazedCommando (3:35:41 PM): like eating
StAr10009FoReVeR (3:35:52 PM): lol
StAr10009FoReVeR (3:36:00 PM): if i feel like it
StAr10009FoReVeR (3:36:21 PM): sure
CrazedCommando (3:36:47 PM): well you know my number
StAr10009FoReVeR (3:36:50 PM): lolStAr10009FoReVeR signed on at 3:58:35 PM.
CrazedCommando (4:03:33 PM): im afraid ihave to rescind that offer
CrazedCommando (4:04:00 PM): friend with benefits does not sit well with me
CrazedCommando (4:05:42 PM): however, i've thougt it over, and i dont have any problem with being your friend
CrazedCommando (4:06:12 PM): but i gotta go nowStAr10009FoReVeR is idle at 4:06:14 PM. StAr10009FoReVeR is no longer idle at 4:18:48 PM.
CrazedCommando (4:21:35 PM): didya get all that?
StAr10009FoReVeR (4:21:41 PM): o yeah
StAr10009FoReVeR (4:22:03 PM): i agree
CrazedCommando (4:22:34 PM): now that you are my official friend, its time for drug-peer pressure
StAr10009FoReVeR (4:22:39 PM): lol
StAr10009FoReVeR (4:22:43 PM): not gonna work
CrazedCommando (4:23:13 PM): well we'll see about that
StAr10009FoReVeR (4:24:47 PM): ok
CrazedCommando (4:25:47 PM): so, what are you doing this weekend?
StAr10009FoReVeR (4:26:24 PM): same as usual
CrazedCommando (4:26:43 PM): do you think you;ll ever get out of that trap?
StAr10009FoReVeR (4:27:02 PM): umm wen i move out
StAr10009FoReVeR (4:27:02 PM): sure
CrazedCommando (4:27:07 PM): haha
CrazedCommando (4:27:33 PM): most unfortunate
StAr10009FoReVeR (4:31:08 PM): yup
CrazedCommando (4:38:35 PM): on the bright side of this whole affair, i can take the money i was aving for our 6-month annversary luch and use it to pay back the kidi bought acid from
StAr10009FoReVeR (4:45:34 PM): lol
CrazedCommando (4:59:36 PM): oh yes, and now since you are an official friend, prepare to have your musical taste thuroughyly heckled!
StAr10009FoReVeR (4:59:49 PM): lol
StAr10009FoReVeR (4:59:50 PM): shut up
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:00:10 PM): don't push me
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:00:15 PM): if u make fun of my musical taste
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:00:17 PM): i don't care
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:00:19 PM): bsides
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:00:24 PM): u don't even noe my musical taste
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:00:28 PM): it's basically everything
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:00:30 PM): i like everything
CrazedCommando (5:00:31 PM): jojo
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:00:32 PM): so HA
CrazedCommando (5:00:40 PM): 1985
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:00:42 PM): tat's only a really really small part
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:00:48 PM): i like EVERYTHING
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:00:51 PM): except techno and opera
CrazedCommando (5:00:53 PM): and other such garbage
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:01:08 PM): yeah call EVERYTHING garbage!
CrazedCommando (5:01:19 PM): you dont listen to everything
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:01:23 PM): yeah i do
CrazedCommando (5:01:37 PM): that's just what people with no musical identities say they listen to
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:01:44 PM): lol ur irritating me
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:01:55 PM): u shuld noe me betta than tat
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:01:57 PM): guess not
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:01:59 PM): well ur problem
CrazedCommando (5:02:18 PM): if im irritating you, its your problem
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:02:26 PM): i wasn't talkin about tat
CrazedCommando (5:02:27 PM): i have no problem with being annoying
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:02:30 PM): So OHHHHHHHHHHHH
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:02:48 PM): ok w.e.
CrazedCommando (5:02:57 PM): well if what you listen to is soooo great
CrazedCommando (5:03:03 PM): why dont you tell me wjhat it is
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:03:11 PM): cuz i listen to a lot of stuff
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:03:14 PM): variety
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:03:18 PM): u noe tat
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:03:22 PM): rite?
CrazedCommando (5:04:56 PM): variety?
CrazedCommando (5:05:09 PM): harhhar\i listen to maybe 6 groups
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:05:26 PM): umm ok
CrazedCommando (5:05:52 PM): or is there a band called variety
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:06:49 PM): hahaha not tat i noe of
CrazedCommando (5:07:19 PM): well i dont care, if its modern its crap
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:07:43 PM): well some of the music i like is modern and i don't care if u think it's crap
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:07:50 PM): as long as i like it i'm satisfied
CrazedCommando (5:08:54 PM): bah
CrazedCommando (5:08:56 PM): brb
CrazedCommando (5:15:52 PM): bsck
CrazedCommando (5:15:54 PM): in black
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:15:57 PM): lol
CrazedCommando (5:15:57 PM): i hit the sack
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:16:29 PM): uhh ok
CrazedCommando (5:17:26 PM): alex is coming over
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:17:31 PM): yay
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:17:32 PM): wit nat?
CrazedCommando (5:17:39 PM): i dont think so
CrazedCommando (5:57:14 PM): s what is up at this exact moment?
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:57:22 PM): typin my sis's hw
CrazedCommando (5:57:40 PM): is she paying you?
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:57:48 PM): nope
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:57:51 PM): i just can do it faaster
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:57:55 PM): plus i get to hog the comp
CrazedCommando (5:58:28 PM): lol
CrazedCommando (6:00:47 PM): so, why dont you ever want to try drugs?
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:01:14 PM): lol
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:01:14 PM): no
CrazedCommando (6:01:22 PM): why
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:01:35 PM): CUZ I JUST DONT
CrazedCommando (6:01:46 PM): WHY
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:02:01 PM): I DONT HAVE A REASON
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:02:03 PM): AND I DONT NEED ONE
CrazedCommando (6:02:16 PM): WELL YOU SHOULD TRY IT BEFORE YOU KNOCK IT
CrazedCommando (6:02:33 PM): GOD I HATE ALL THESE ANTI-DRUG KIDS THESE DAYS
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:02:57 PM): GOD I HATE ALL THESE KIDS WHO CAN'T JUST ENJOY DRUGS ON THEIR OWN AND HAVE NO LIFE SO THEY NEED TO DRAG OTHA PPL
CrazedCommando (6:03:52 PM): WELL I HATE ALL THESE KIDS WHOSE ONLY GOAL IN LIFE IS TO GET A "GOOD" JOB WHERE YOU PANDER TO THE IDIOTIC WHIMS OF SOME BOSS AND DIE AT 65 WITH STOMACH ULCERS AND A COMPLETELY APATHETIC FAMILY
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:04:39 PM): AHAHAHA
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:04:41 PM): BUT NO
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:04:43 PM): U DON'T NOE SHIT
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:04:51 PM): I DON'T WANT TO HAVE AN APATHETIC FAMILY
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:04:55 PM): HOW DO U NOE I EVEN WANT A FUCKIN FAMILY
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:04:57 PM): AND I DON'T WANT A BOSS
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:05:00 PM): I WORK ON MY OWN
CrazedCommando (6:05:02 PM): IF I DONT KNOW SHIT, THEN YOU KNOW... NEGATIVE SHIT!
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:05:05 PM): I'M GONNA B MY OWN FUCKIN BOSS U
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:05:09 PM): GONNA B A HOBO
CrazedCommando (6:05:24 PM): I'M GONNA BE A ROCK STAR OR A MASTERMIND CRIMINAL
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:05:32 PM): AHAHAH
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:05:35 PM): END WIT UR LIFE IN JAIL
CrazedCommando (6:05:36 PM): YOU ARE GOING TO BE A NURSE OR SECRATARY
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:05:40 PM): WAT THE FUCK
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:05:43 PM): I'M MORE CLEVER THAN U
CrazedCommando (6:05:47 PM): NOTIN THE LEAST
CrazedCommando (6:06:15 PM): OR DO I NEED TO DEFINE "LEAST" FOR YOU
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:06:33 PM): ARGh
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:06:49 PM): ROCK STAR MY ASS
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:06:59 PM): SOME CRIMINAL MASTERMIND
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:07:08 PM): UR GONNA B HIGH OFF OF DRUGS
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:07:12 PM): U CAN'T THINK
CrazedCommando (6:07:15 PM): WELL SOME ACTRESS
CrazedCommando (6:07:22 PM): YOU CANT ACT
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:07:43 PM): HOW THE FUCK WULD U NOE
CrazedCommando (6:08:10 PM): ITS AN EDUCATED GUESS
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:08:46 PM): WAT THE FUCK U MEAN EDUCATED
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:09:39 PM): UR A FUCKIN CREEP
CrazedCommando (6:09:42 PM): THIS COMING FROM SOMEONE WHO CANT EVEN TYPE OUT HER FULL WORDS
CrazedCommando (6:09:49 PM): AND YOU'RE A BITCH
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:09:55 PM): I CAN STILL TYPE FASTER THAN U
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:10:11 PM): WORDS ARE ONLY MEANT FOR COMMUNICA TION PURPOSES
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:10:13 PM): IF U NOE WAT I'M SAYIN
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:10:15 PM): IT'S ALL GOOD
CrazedCommando (6:10:22 PM): NOPE
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:10:49 PM): SEE IF I GIVE A FUCKIN SHIT
CrazedCommando (6:11:11 PM): clearly you do
CrazedCommando (6:11:19 PM): carrying on like a madwoman
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:11:37 PM): DID U JUST CALL ME A BITCH B4?
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:11:47 PM): IF ANYTHING U WERE THE FUCKIN BITCH IN OUR RELATIONSHIP
CrazedCommando (6:11:47 PM): yes
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:11:52 PM): SO U NEED TO SHUT THE FUC KUP
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:11:54 PM): FUCK*
CrazedCommando (6:12:03 PM): oooooh, i'm sooo offended
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:12:14 PM): ooooh how mature
CrazedCommando (6:12:25 PM): you are just a poor, ignorant harlot
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:13:46 PM): poor?
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:13:55 PM): i'm not the one living in that craphole u call home
CrazedCommando (6:13:57 PM): poor as in sad
CrazedCommando (6:14:11 PM): and at least i can afford my own clothes
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:14:33 PM): YEAH NO DUH THEY'RE WORTH LIKE A DOLLAR
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:15:12 PM): AND DO U NOE WAT A FUCKIN HARLOT IS
CrazedCommando (6:15:19 PM): yep
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:15:28 PM): IF U DID THEN WHY THE FUCK WULDN'T I B ABLE TO AFFORD MY OWN CLOTHES
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:15:33 PM): I'D B RICHER THAN U'D EVER B
CrazedCommando (6:15:42 PM): and pathetic too
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:15:55 PM): o wow i'm sooo hurt
CrazedCommando (6:16:08 PM): clearly you are, typing in all caps like you are
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:16:09 PM): I'M NOT THE ONE ACTING LIKE A BIG BABY ABOUT THE BREAK UP
CrazedCommando (6:16:24 PM): you are now
CrazedCommando (6:16:41 PM): at least i can commit, you promiscuous hag!
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:17:07 PM): AT LEAST I DON'T LIE
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:17:12 PM): WAT HAPPENED TO
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:17:23 PM): ME SUPPOSEDLY BEING "HOT"
CrazedCommando (6:17:34 PM): you still are
CrazedCommando (6:17:48 PM): too bad you dont have looks and personality
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:17:49 PM): and i dont have sexual relations
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:17:52 PM): i haven't even done it
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:17:58 PM): in fact i'm against SEX until i'm married!
CrazedCommando (6:18:07 PM): well that's stupid
CrazedCommando (6:18:19 PM): since youll never be committed enough to marry
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:18:27 PM): MAYB U JUST WEREN'T THE RITE GUY
CrazedCommando (6:18:58 PM): maybe, but you'll be hard pressed to find someone who will cater as easily to your pathetic complaints
CrazedCommando (6:19:15 PM): brb
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:19:18 PM): WELL AT LEAST I CAN FIND SOMEONE
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:19:20 PM): UNLIKE U
CrazedCommando (6:20:58 PM): well a fat lot of good it will do you
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:22:07 PM): still betta than being alone the rest of my life
CrazedCommando (6:23:08 PM): maybe for you
CrazedCommando (6:23:46 PM): but those who need love are the onees who who end up withou
CrazedCommando (6:23:47 PM): t
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:24:02 PM): WAT THE FUCK U TALKIN ABOUT
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:24:42 PM): I'M NOT THE ONE WHO HADN'T HAD A GF UNTIL THE AGE OF 15 AND ALMOST 16
CrazedCommando (6:25:01 PM): right, because i didnt care
CrazedCommando (6:25:30 PM): meanwhile, you had a boyfriend in, what was it, 7th grade?
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:25:37 PM): no
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:25:39 PM): b4 tat
CrazedCommando (6:25:42 PM): clearly you are emotionally dependant
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:25:57 PM): NO CUZ I AM SOCIALLY ACCEPTED
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:26:22 PM): AND PEOPLE ACTUALLY WANT ME
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:26:46 PM): I'M NOT A RECLUSE
CrazedCommando (6:27:22 PM): well you can take your society and shove it
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:27:37 PM): yeah up ur ass
CrazedCommando (6:28:18 PM): that was stupid and unfunny, much like its teller
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:29:34 PM): I'M STUPID AND UNFUNNY
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:29:37 PM): UR THE FUCKIN CORNY ONE
CrazedCommando (6:30:21 PM): corny jokes are better than none
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:30:56 PM): tat's where ur wrong
CrazedCommando (6:31:00 PM): no
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:31:02 PM): yes
CrazedCommando (6:31:12 PM): im a hit with my audiences
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:31:22 PM): more like they wanna hit u
CrazedCommando (6:31:27 PM): you're just another face in the crowd
CrazedCommando (6:31:32 PM): you're average
CrazedCommando (6:31:35 PM): face it
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:31:39 PM): yeah just like u loved the average girl eh
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:31:39 PM): ?
CrazedCommando (6:31:52 PM): opposites attract
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:32:18 PM): u don't believe in cliches
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:32:28 PM): ur a fuckin hypocrite
CrazedCommando (6:32:42 PM): i never said i didnt belive in cliches
CrazedCommando (6:32:46 PM): youre a liaar
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:33:08 PM): u noe wat fine i don't give a shit about wat u think
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:33:10 PM): do wat u want
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:33:12 PM): have a nice life!
CrazedCommando (6:33:15 PM): good, i will
CrazedCommando (6:33:20 PM): BYE

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

III.

CrazedCommando (5:43:06 PM): I hear tell you're willing to forgive and forger
CrazedCommando (5:43:08 PM): t
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:43:30 PM): i've always been ready i neva really got mad at u until u dissed veronica
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:43:36 PM): wat u did was inappropriate
CrazedCommando (5:43:56 PM): granted, but an angry Eli is a reckless Eli
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:44:04 PM): no excuse for tat
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:44:09 PM): u noe how much her dad means to her?
CrazedCommando (5:44:32 PM): well do you know how ashamed I am of my own bizarre pornographic taste?
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:44:43 PM): wat matters more?
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:44:48 PM): a death or a joke about porn?
CrazedCommando (5:45:01 PM): like I said
CrazedCommando (5:45:05 PM): reckless
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:45:27 PM): i don't care
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:45:28 PM): i mean
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:45:34 PM): veronica really doesn't want me talkin to u
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:45:38 PM): and i can see why
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:45:44 PM): but
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:45:46 PM): i dunno
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:45:55 PM): if u culd get her to forgive u
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:46:00 PM): then i'd forgive u
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:46:04 PM): but if not i don't think i can
CrazedCommando (5:46:16 PM): well I don't think I'd be able to
CrazedCommando (5:46:52 PM): and if it takes me patching things up with veronica to make you forgive me, well then I guess I'll just be hated eternally
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:47:08 PM): ur choice
CrazedCommando (5:47:39 PM): It's just as much your choice as it is mine
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:48:02 PM): tru but u noe wat
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:48:09 PM): veronica matters more to me rite now
CrazedCommando (5:48:16 PM): I would imagine
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:48:22 PM): especially since u did the worst thing of all
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:48:25 PM): talkin about her father like tat
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:48:29 PM): have u noe shame
CrazedCommando (5:48:54 PM): shame, tact, and guilt are not words in my vernacular
CrazedCommando (5:49:03 PM): they only serve as a hindrance
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:49:17 PM): well u betta learn them
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:49:33 PM): cuz i dun't care how badly u were hurt compared to how low u were to say such a thing
CrazedCommando (5:49:59 PM): well if you dont care about that, then I see no reason to make amends, and I stand by everything I said
StAr10009FoReVeR (5:50:35 PM): as u wish
CrazedCommando (5:52:57 PM): well som much for that, then
CrazedCommando (6:08:33 PM): Well, since these are the last words you'll hear from me (unless you change your tune), I might as well make them good
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:08:35 PM): dy
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:08:49 PM): no
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:08:51 PM): don't even start
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:08:56 PM): if u can't grow up
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:09:01 PM): i don't think i wanna hear wat u gotta say
CrazedCommando (6:09:29 PM): Growing up is a vague term, and totally subjective
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:09:36 PM): make wat u want of it
CrazedCommando (6:10:08 PM): well then, I want growing up to mean not being hindered by childish notions like "growing up"
CrazedCommando (6:10:36 PM): Anyway, farewell speech:
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:10:40 PM): no
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:10:42 PM): i dun't wanna hear it
CrazedCommando (6:10:50 PM): well technically, you are reading it
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:10:58 PM): not a jokin mood
CrazedCommando (6:11:03 PM): a pity
CrazedCommando (6:11:14 PM): fine, no farewell speech
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:11:50 PM): if anything's a pity
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:11:55 PM): it'd b u still not gettin it thru ur head
CrazedCommando (6:12:05 PM): oh,that's real mature
CrazedCommando (6:12:14 PM): why dont you take your own advice, sister
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:12:29 PM): tryin to b ghetto now?
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:12:31 PM): look
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:12:34 PM): i dun't care how mature i am
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:12:45 PM): i dun't have a problem wit myself
CrazedCommando (6:13:30 PM): well neither do I
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:13:42 PM): point is
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:13:49 PM): i have a problem wit the way ur acting
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:14:02 PM): so that means i dunt wanna have to deal wit this again
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:14:07 PM): i'm not tryin to b mean
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:14:13 PM): i just want u to understand
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:14:15 PM): wat u did was wrong
CrazedCommando (6:15:17 PM): well I've had to deal with a LOT more childish behavior from you, so lets just stop this whole attitude thing
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:15:42 PM): u noe wat i don't wanna argue so u noe wat forget it
CrazedCommando (6:15:44 PM): or, with you simply stop talking to me because you cant handle it?
CrazedCommando (6:15:48 PM): I knew it
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:16:08 PM): i don't care
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:16:11 PM): i can make my own decisions
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:16:15 PM): i dont' deserve this
CrazedCommando (6:16:19 PM): yes you do
CrazedCommando (6:16:31 PM): you totally deserve it
CrazedCommando (6:16:38 PM): would you like me to make a list of why?
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:16:44 PM): no tat's ok
CrazedCommando (6:17:08 PM): ok, good, i wouldn't want to get carpal tunnel syndrome from typing all night
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:17:15 PM): if u don't wanna talk to me just stop
CrazedCommando (6:17:29 PM): I do want to talk to you, that's why im still doing it
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:17:41 PM): too bad cuz i'm suddenly not in the mood to talk to u
CrazedCommando (6:17:59 PM): ah there we go again, that familiar mood
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:18:11 PM): have u ever wonder why i'm in that mood
CrazedCommando (6:18:21 PM): yes and no
CrazedCommando (6:18:55 PM): I know that it is because of what I say, but then I wonder why it is that the same things I say to everyone i know have such an effect on you
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:19:23 PM): u don't noe shit
CrazedCommando (6:19:48 PM): I know plenty
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:20:10 PM): look point is
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:20:27 PM): i can't talk to u witout feelin pissed afta wat u said to veronica
CrazedCommando (6:20:46 PM): all emotions fade with time, you of all people should know ir
CrazedCommando (6:20:47 PM): t
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:21:07 PM): for veronica
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:21:11 PM): it's gonna last longer
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:21:13 PM): cuz of ur stupid comment
CrazedCommando (6:22:41 PM): Hurtful, yes, insensitive, yes
CrazedCommando (6:22:46 PM): but hardly stupid
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:22:58 PM): w.e. u get the point
CrazedCommando (6:24:03 PM): well maybe if you hand't told me in the first place, we wouldn't be having this problem
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:24:16 PM): ooo now blamin me huh
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:24:17 PM): fine
CrazedCommando (6:24:34 PM): Anyway, I have to play World of Warcraft, so if ya have anything else to say, now's the time
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:24:43 PM): yeah grow up
CrazedCommando (6:25:07 PM): i said something else
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:25:25 PM): those are the only things i can think of rite now
CrazedCommando (6:25:42 PM): maybe you should get your head examined then
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:25:58 PM): ur missin the fuckin point
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:26:12 PM): god this is exactly wat i mean
CrazedCommando (6:26:19 PM): i see your point, its jsut invalid
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:26:24 PM): i'm not tryin to diss u or anything i'm just sayin wat i think u need to see
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:26:30 PM): seriously
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:26:46 PM): makin fun of someone's death is fuckin low
CrazedCommando (6:27:06 PM): maybe you see it as low
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:27:22 PM): i don't care how I c it
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:27:27 PM): but tat's wat veronica sees it as
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:27:29 PM): it's her fuckin dad
CrazedCommando (6:27:56 PM): right, well, I didnt say :why dont you kill yourself like your dad" or "HE was fucked up, yo"
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:28:19 PM): U SAid GO CRY ABOUT DADDY
CrazedCommando (6:28:23 PM): i in no way attacked his character
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:28:32 PM): DOESN"T FUCKIN MATTER WAT U SAY IF U SAY SOMETHING ABOUT HIM BEING DEAD PERIOD
CrazedCommando (6:28:34 PM): nor the tragedy of his demise
CrazedCommando (6:28:55 PM): well then I think you gals need to loosen up
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:29:02 PM): AHAHAHHA
CrazedCommando (6:29:08 PM): in fact, I'll grow up when you loosen up when hell freezes over
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:29:14 PM): YEAH LIKE I'M GONNA LOOSEN UP ABOUT U TALKIN ABOUT MY BFF DAD
CrazedCommando (6:29:25 PM): i meant in general
CrazedCommando (6:29:39 PM): the arguments presented here are about more than just recent events
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:29:42 PM): well u just made it ten times harder
CrazedCommando (6:30:30 PM): Well it doesn't matter to me, I'm over it. I just hope for your sake that you loosen up, lest you succumb to terminal high blod pressure
CrazedCommando (6:30:34 PM): blood*
CrazedCommando (6:32:05 PM): Anyway, World of warcraft awaits, so I will leave you with the knowledge that I suckered you into my planned farewell speech
CrazedCommando (6:32:10 PM): g'day
StAr10009FoReVeR (6:32:57 PM): (applauds)
Auto response from CrazedCommando (6:32:57 PM): Drum Master E is...Out.

StAr10009FoReVeR (6:32:59 PM): congratsStAr10009FoReVeR is away at 7:21:42 PM. StAr10009FoReVeR returned at 7:47:42 PM. StAr10009FoReVeR is away at 8:41:43 PM.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IV.

StAr10009FoReVeR (9:26:57 PM): i just wanna say one thing
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:27:00 PM): look at veronica's profile
CrazedCommando (9:27:40 PM): she's not on my buddy list anymore
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:27:55 PM): o rite
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:28:06 PM): well it has a really sad poem about her dad dying
CrazedCommando (9:29:20 PM): what do you want from me?
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:29:39 PM): feel some sort of guilt
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:29:47 PM): know tat u said something totally out of line
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:29:52 PM): i want u feel ashamed
CrazedCommando (9:30:11 PM): for your own personal satisfaction?
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:30:17 PM): no
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:30:20 PM): i want u to truly feel it
CrazedCommando (9:30:33 PM): right, but why?
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:30:48 PM): cuz it is the worst punishment u can get from it
CrazedCommando (9:31:10 PM): you're not getting what I am asking
CrazedCommando (9:31:25 PM): why do you want me punished?
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:31:34 PM): cuz wat u did was wrong
CrazedCommando (9:32:37 PM): well one could argue any which way about what is wrong or roght
CrazedCommando (9:32:53 PM): not saying that i do, but suppose i thought it was wrong that you lost interest?
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:33:36 PM): it doesn't compare
CrazedCommando (9:34:12 PM): suppose I thought it did?
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:34:29 PM): then u obviously have something wrong wit ur head
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:34:32 PM): no offense
CrazedCommando (9:34:37 PM): i could say the same thing about you
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:34:39 PM): but u can't compare this to her father's death
CrazedCommando (9:34:53 PM): did I kill her father?
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:35:04 PM): but u did elevate the pain
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:35:13 PM): she doesn't need to hear wat she did from u
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:35:16 PM): go cry about daddy
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:35:18 PM): u noe she did
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:35:22 PM): u triggered it
CrazedCommando (9:35:33 PM): well dont you think it elevated my pain when she said that you "got bored" of me?
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:35:55 PM): they're different levels of pain
CrazedCommando (9:36:10 PM): says you
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:36:16 PM): it's not like i'm someone who raised u and knew for all of ur life tat died
CrazedCommando (9:36:18 PM): how could you possibly know?
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:36:28 PM): cuz it's so obvious that a death means more
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:36:32 PM): death is permament
CrazedCommando (9:36:45 PM): well so is this breakup, unless you're a liar
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:36:53 PM): yeah but we can still talk
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:36:56 PM): they can't
CrazedCommando (9:37:50 PM): Well im not denying that his death was sad, and I know i'd be pretty fucked if my dad died
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:38:08 PM): and have someone rub it in
CrazedCommando (9:38:13 PM): but I wouldn't go around throwing people's secrets in their faces to get a reaction
CrazedCommando (9:38:17 PM): i was provoked
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:38:22 PM): no excuse
CrazedCommando (9:38:29 PM): its plenty excuse
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:38:33 PM): no
CrazedCommando (9:38:42 PM): not once did i ever mention her dad except in consolation before that
CrazedCommando (9:38:48 PM): it wasnt even on my mind
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:38:57 PM): well obviously it was wen u mentioned it
CrazedCommando (9:39:21 PM): right, because we each knew one secret of the other person's
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:39:27 PM): i noe
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:39:28 PM): but
CrazedCommando (9:39:32 PM): if someone should have thought before they spoke, it was her
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:39:47 PM): yeah but no one b4 u wuld b such a jerk
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:39:49 PM): to actually
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:39:53 PM): say something about a death
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:39:59 PM): nobody
CrazedCommando (9:40:35 PM): im sure hitler would have
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:41:00 PM): tat's not funni
CrazedCommando (9:41:17 PM): I talk for 3 reasons: to inform, offend, and amuse
CrazedCommando (9:41:23 PM): she got the unlucky 1/3
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:41:43 PM): i don't care unlucky or lucky or anything like tat
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:41:54 PM): u can't keep pretending u didn't do anything wrong
CrazedCommando (9:42:12 PM): im not pretending
CrazedCommando (9:42:18 PM): I know i didnt do anything wrong
CrazedCommando (9:42:22 PM): extreme
CrazedCommando (9:42:25 PM): drastic
CrazedCommando (9:42:32 PM): not wrong
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:42:56 PM): completely wrong
CrazedCommando (9:43:40 PM): i hate to dig up the past, but do you know what else was completely wrong?
CrazedCommando (9:43:51 PM): you flirting with other guys behind my back
CrazedCommando (9:44:02 PM): and planning on taking me to the homecoming as a friend
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:44:28 PM): omg u dont' even noe the whole fuckin story
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:44:33 PM): and stop changin the whole fuckin story
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:44:41 PM): and subject
CrazedCommando (9:44:46 PM): haha
CrazedCommando (9:44:54 PM): I've made my point
CrazedCommando (9:45:08 PM): and no amount of block-headed refusal on your part is going to change it
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:45:43 PM): u noe wat nvm
StAr10009FoReVeR (9:45:44 PM): i give upStAr10009FoReVeR signed off at 9:45:59 PM.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Apologies for my wanton sexuality, thank the gods it has never been seen again.

FUCK SUBJECTS

2006-10-24T00:12:00.000-04:00

I've come to the conclusion that I am the most beautifully-spoken man I know, and I challenge my readership to refute my statement.

Really fucking annoying

2006-10-04T02:19:00.000-04:00

Lately I can't go to sleep before like 2:30. I know I have to wake up early tommorow, and I know I'm gonna be fucking miserable all day. SO WHY THE FUCK IS IT THAT THE LATER I STAY UP, THE LESS FUCKING TIRED I GET?!?!?! ARARARGSDHGDFHSKHFDGH!

The Joys of Pipe-smoking: The article with too-many hyphens

2006-10-02T23:48:00.000-04:00

Recently, my life was unalterably changed. I speak not of the transition from highschool to the real life, nor any drug-related breakdown. No, I speak of that grand day when my very first serious tobacco-pipe came in the mail. But first, allow me to backtrack a little. For the last several months, or maybe the last year, my only experience with tobacco had been in cigarettes, both pre-rolled and roll-yer-own. While the "rollies" offered a great deal more satisfaction than the "20-pack" variety, both forms of smoking left something to be desired. Fast-forward to the afore-mentioned date: Pipe Day. From my first puff until the ones I am enjoying right as we speak, my Peterson Kinsale has filled my life with the richness that can only come once you start smoking tobacco, un-processed, un-filtered, un-adulterated pleasure.
I guess I really don't know where I'm going with this, so here's a haiku expressing the sentiment that only a moron would not have already gathered from that last, long-winded passage:

My dear Briar pipe
I enjoy smoking you
More than fags do dick.

P.S. I-still-hate-you-all

P.P.S. Buy a pipe, and overthrow your crush-proof prison.

College review:

2006-09-26T18:17:00.000-04:00

I don't think I know anyone my age who has decided not to go to college, so to keep my finger on the pulse of the community (and not up my ass), I have visited NYU and Pratt campuses, to see what the "institutions" are like. I put institution in quotes because Pratt is actually built like a mental asylum, from the flourescent lighting and off-beige paint in the hallways to the student eatery that is 2 STORIES UNDERGROUND, the Pratt campus is like a set from a horror movie. However, the truly scary aspect of Pratt is no monster or psycho, but the ridiculously stupid and annoying "students." I won't name any names, but my god, I've never seen such a group of lifeless people in my life. They definitely can spell party without Pratt. I give this school a 2/10, for a horribly depressing campus, a boring student body, and the fact that if Nikolai is not failing yet, they have absolutely no academic standard whatsoever.

Speaking of institutions for the braindead, my next item is NYU. I could go on and on about how those bastards have all but ruined the areas in which they have placed their dens, but that's an old hat. My problem is what total squares they all are. So far I'm 2/2 for forceful ejections. I give this school a 4/10. Same rating as above, but +2 for letting me see Godzilla for free.

P.S. I changed it oliver, FUCK YOU!!!

Mission Statement

2006-04-26T00:20:00.000-04:00

In light of the college fever that seems do have struck everyone but me (I feel like Charlton Heston in Soylent Green), I feel it's necessary to post some kind of manifesto.

I do declare that from the day of my adulthood, I shall pursue no other goal but that of living life by my own terms and means, for my ultimate benefit. I shall do no wrong to those who do me no wrong. I shall always strive towards the goal of fiscal freedom, that is, being paid to do what I want to do. I shall stand up for my principles, my people and my nation. I shall not stand down to anyone who would try to take these from me. I shall NOT abide anyone who seeks to take advantage or any fakes. I shall enjoy my life as far as I can, and when I become unable to, I will accept that it is my time, and will not hang onto life like some pathetic wretch. I will take responsibility for my actions, accept the consequences of these actions, and give credit where credit is due. I shall stay true to myself and this manifesto.

-E

P.S. Fuck college.

New update soon

2006-04-23T17:26:00.000-04:00

I PROMISE!!!

THE LOGO:

2006-02-26T22:25:00.000-05:00

I think you can guess what it's fer.

www.myspace.com/thebeards

Merry Christmas

2005-12-25T12:39:00.000-05:00

Well folks, it's been 2 long months since we last saw eachother, and the long promised update is here. Consider this the notification, because I'm going to be updating BACKWARDS IN TIME!!!!! So stay tuned for what I would have been writing were I not so lazy.

My reflections on parenthood and "responsible" adults in general:

2005-12-19T12:44:00.000-05:00

You'd think that with all of the things that parents do these days to restrict, suppress, and generally annoy their kids today, that there would be some wisdom behind parental methods, and that all of their actions would be for the benefit of the children. I'm sure this is the case for many folks, I know that my parents did a good job raising me, sociopathic tendencies aside. However, I was doing something... er... memory fails as to why I was thinking about it, but the point is, it came to me that any 2 people can fuck and have a kid. Think about that. If Adolph Hitler and Tipper Gore (2 totally comparable personalities, I might add) wanted to have a kid, they could (assuming that we could travel through time and all that). Basically, anytime someone tells you to do something "because the order came from a parent", tell them to shut up.

I guess there wasn't anything on adults in general, but the title was flashy.

KONG

2005-12-15T00:43:00.000-05:00

KONG

1 Year

2005-11-02T16:42:00.000-05:00

I've been single for one year today. Damnit.

WHOOOOOOOO SCARY!!!!!

2005-10-31T22:05:00.000-05:00

Hello and happy Halloween! I figured that, for this entry, I'll let you readers pony up the entertainment. What is your scariest story? Here's mine:

I was tripping my balls off on Elan's roof and Will pretended not to have keys and that we were stuck up there. Later that night, I was walking down the street and J.P. just literally materialized out of thin air. I was scared shitless.

In case you didn't see it on SA:

2005-10-14T00:10:00.000-04:00

It turns out that scientists recently discovered an ancient people whose descendants, are, ironically, Elan and Teo.

"Bones prove the existence of 'hobbits'
By Steve Connor, Science Editor
Published: 12 October 2005
The bones of at least nine more "hobbits" - a miniature species of human discovered two years ago - have been unearthed by scientists excavating the floor of a cave on a remote Indonesian island.
The discovery of the remains confirms that the miniature people, who grew to about 3 feet, were a truly ancient species and not merely pygmies or modern humans with diseased skulls.
A team of scientists from Australia and Indonesia said the latest remains include a lower jawbone of a second individual as well as the arms of the first individual whose partial skeleton was unearthed in 2003.
The scientists have also found evidence that the species, which they have called Homo floresiensis after the island of Flores where the find was made, used fire and hunted a dwarf species of elephant called stegadon.
Dating of the sedimentary layers that encased the latest bones suggest the H floresiensis was living in the cave as recently as 12,000 years ago, long after the demise of all other human species apart from modern man, Homo sapiens.
The scientists excavated a range of bones from the miniature people, the oldest dating to about 74,000 years ago, suggesting that the creatures had lived in and around the cave for at least 50,000 years.
The same team, led by Michael Morwood of the University of New England in Armidale, New South Wales, found the original skull and skeleton of the species, which they nicknamed "the hobbit" after the diminutive characters in JRR Tolkien's Lord of the Rings.
The skull was about the size of a chimpanzee's, and housed a brain not much bigger than a small grapefruit. Other scientists were amazed that a human-like creature could survive with such a small brain.
Some researchers suggested that the Australian team had got their dating wrong, or had mistaken the fossils for remains of modern humans with some form of aberrant dwarfism.
However, writing in the journal Nature, the scientists dismiss suggestions that the bones are of a modern dwarf with a growth-hormone deficiency or a person with microcephaly, when the braincase does not grow to its full size.
"Abnormal growth seems an unlikely explanation, as growth hormone-related dwarfism and microcephaly in modern humans result in normal limb and pelvic proportions," they say.
The arms, legs and pelvis of the hobbit are in proportion to the size of its skull but they share a greater similarity to fossils of ancient African hominids than to later humans, said Professor Chris Stringer, head of human origins at the Natural History Museum in London.
"There are enough fossils showing distinctive features to rule out the possibility these are unusual or aberrant modern humans," Professor Stringer said.
The bones of at least nine more "hobbits" - a miniature species of human discovered two years ago - have been unearthed by scientists excavating the floor of a cave on a remote Indonesian island.
The discovery of the remains confirms that the miniature people, who grew to about 3 feet, were a truly ancient species and not merely pygmies or modern humans with diseased skulls.
A team of scientists from Australia and Indonesia said the latest remains include a lower jawbone of a second individual as well as the arms of the first individual whose partial skeleton was unearthed in 2003.
The scientists have also found evidence that the species, which they have called Homo floresiensis after the island of Flores where the find was made, used fire and hunted a dwarf species of elephant called stegadon.
Dating of the sedimentary layers that encased the latest bones suggest the H floresiensis was living in the cave as recently as 12,000 years ago, long after the demise of all other human species apart from modern man, Homo sapiens.
The scientists excavated a range of bones from the miniature people, the oldest dating to about 74,000 years ago, suggesting that the creatures had lived in and around the cave for at least 50,000 years.
The same team, led by Michael Morwood of the University of New England in Armidale, New South Wales, found the original skull and skeleton of the species, which they nicknamed "the hobbit" after the diminutive characters in JRR Tolkien's Lord of the Rings.
The skull was about the size of a chimpanzee's, and housed a brain not much bigger than a small grapefruit. Other scientists were amazed that a human-like creature could survive with such a small brain.
Some researchers suggested that the Australian team had got their dating wrong, or had mistaken the fossils for remains of modern humans with some form of aberrant dwarfism.
However, writing in the journal Nature, the scientists dismiss suggestions that the bones are of a modern dwarf with a growth-hormone deficiency or a person with microcephaly, when the braincase does not grow to its full size.
"Abnormal growth seems an unlikely explanation, as growth hormone-related dwarfism and microcephaly in modern humans result in normal limb and pelvic proportions," they say.
The arms, legs and pelvis of the hobbit are in proportion to the size of its skull but they share a greater similarity to fossils of ancient African hominids than to later humans, said Professor Chris Stringer, head of human origins at the Natural History Museum in London.
"There are enough fossils showing distinctive features to rule out the possibility these are unusual or aberrant modern humans," Professor Stringer said. "

Ha!

In case you were wondering...

2005-10-10T20:53:00.000-04:00

Scombroid means "resembling a mackerel".

Sick Again

2005-09-22T22:17:00.000-04:00

I can't recall a September 22nd on which I've been more miserable. Wholly disheartened. Completely wraught with stress and unpleasant emotion. Sick as fuck.

The worst of it all, however, is the melancholy tone that these late entries have adopted. I really don't want to pain you with these simpering, self-deprecating, rambling woman-like articles, but I feel if I don't write about it, well it'll just be worse. But I digress.

Moving on, I've decided that my favorite frontman is Jim Morrison, and my least favorite is Zachary Allen. (Google him if you're not in the know). What a fat lump that kid is.

[I know this entry is 5 days late, but whatever.]

Another drunken update

2005-09-18T02:19:00.000-04:00

I didn't want Andrew's gay matter-of-fact lifeless post to be the latest one, so here's an update for y'all: I'm the happiest I've been in a while. Even though another school year has started, and I'm pissed as hell about that, I'm still having a lot of fun. For example, you read this as I am; just back from a party and inebriated. Lucas and Clark have good friends. Max is cool.

Point is, I'm moving pretty soon.

Hopefully, I'll have a girl in time for prom. That's the number 2 goal.

The number one goal is MAKE IT WITH THE BEST FUCKING BAND IN THE WORLD!!! FUCK YOU JOHN, MAX IS NOT AVAILABLE FOR COMMENT!!

Let's Name Eli's New Subdomain & Image Gallery

2005-09-08T20:45:00.000-04:00

Andrew here...

I have an image gallery at megapixel.dontwalk-run.com

In the next day or so, I'm creating a new sub domain for CrazedCommando.com and hooking up a similar gallery that all of you can add to... that is, if Eli allows you.

So, I need to figure out what to name the subdomain (subdomain.CrazedCommando.com) as well as the Image gallery.

Any Suggestions?

I'm feeling better...

2005-08-28T05:53:00.000-04:00

Well I've definitely gotten a lot out. I may just have left one of the biggest and dumbest wastes of time behind.

On a different note, have any of you ever been deep in thought and all of a sudden you look in the mirror and you're suprised to see what you see? This happens to me all the time. It's like I don't know what I look like until I see it and I'm shocked. Bah, I doubt it happens to any of you, being the well-adjusted people you are. Just thought I'd throw it out there, since it's been happening to me pretty often lately.

Well I'm Ba-ha-ha-ha-hack

2005-08-24T05:02:00.000-04:00

[Edit] Here's your mention, Elan, ya crazy supportive bastard.

So it's been a few weeks! How has everyone been? Having a good summer? Great! Fuck Off!

Anyway, I figure now's as good a time as any to make my Junior Year Retrospective, so here goes:

The year started off fine. I, for the most part, liked my teachers, and I was dating, but y'all already know about that. It went downhill after that. September 24th: My backpack and wallet are stolen, leaving me without my precious work and $15 poorer. Did I mention that my CD player, headphones and graphing calculator were stolen? WELL THEY FUCKING WERE. That was the first of many academic setbacks. At about this time, I was getting into AC/DC and I think I had a really bad cough, "forcing" me to miss school and fall farther behind. Special note: October 17th marks the day when I wrote my most famous article. You know what I'm talking about. Well let's see what happens in November... Ah yes, "W" wins, and I get dumped in the same day. Joy upon joy. Using my "depression" as an excuse to get out of more work, I fall farther still behind. This date marks the beginnings of my misogynism. When December rolled around, I was steeped in my online adventures in World of Warcraft. Also, my short-lived but well-recieved comic "In a Perfect World" debuts in December. Vacation in Washington, where I build foundations for what I thought at the time would be nice relationships. Ooooh boy, what a fool I was. Oh yeah, January, the Month of Threats, so called because of all the hate I received from the 10/17 article. February, Month of Death, so called because of the tsunami. Boy that was funny. Also in February, I was fooled by John in my ridiculous and ill-conceived quest for female companionship. Thanks a lot John, you fucker. I hope you never know love. Think it's been awhile since I fucked myself over in school? Me too. In late February I was assigned my infamous history paper, and decided not to do any preliminary research, citing my invigorating trip to Amsterdam and Rome. March, the Month of the Colossal Burger... Well I don't need to get into details on that. March also the month in which my depression begins to set in. April, the Month of Long Updates and the Move, was also the month where I learned that those so-called Washington relationships were folly, as the bitch cock-slut parents out there deemed me "ideologically harmful" Their loss, I guess. Fuck 'em. Special April shout-out to Charlie the straightedge moron and The Soft Parade tribute band. April was the month where I probably fucked myself over most in school, with all the cutting and what-not. On comes the magical Month of May and the One Update. Self-Explanatory. Probably a heavy woman-hating month, since May marked what would have been my year anniversary. Then the birthday month came. A High-Water Mark for misogyny and depression. I believe I played 2 shows in June. They kicked ass. Didn't hand in my final projects in 2 classes, and I didn't fucking care. Also, college is for squares, I'd like you to know. July was the Month of "Hey I didn't spend a lot of time in the city". Washington was ok. They are jerks there. August blah blah blah blah.

Anyway, Junior was a year of musical enlightenment and un-precedented self-discovery. But more than just discovering myself, I discovered a lot about other people, or people in general. I fucking hate them. Most people I have come into contact with have been so boring, predictable or stupid it's a great wonder as to how they still have any friends at all. And now, as I sit here, at 5 in the Morning on August 24th, I'm still lonely, angry and generally ill-tempered. However, if there's one positive thing I can say about the year, it's that I've grown very satisfied with myself and my situation. I am angry, and I am lonely, but by god does it beat the alternative. I would hate to be stuck in some dead-end relationship with someone who it would be very complex and arduous to break up with or domineered by a some kind of bitch. I have seen the top of the mountain, and I have taken a shit on it and hiked my ass back down. Of course, I can't let this little conclusion be so completely saturated with relationship and women ideas, so I'll move on now. Ah... Uh... Um... I guess everything else is just fine. I have no complaints, and I've grown to appreciate what friends I have. I have no regrets.

So yeah.

Summer Hiatus

2005-07-07T15:24:00.000-04:00

Don't expect anything new here until I return to New York. I'll only update if something amazing happens, which is unlikely. See you in late August.

P.S. Pay no heed to that last entry, because I wrote it with about 3 people in mind, and chances are, they are not you.

You fucks.

2005-07-06T02:22:00.000-04:00

I'm really getting sick of you all. Honestly. I've mucked about dealing with your pathetic antics for long enough. I'm going to get me some new... people. I'm sure that would be just the ticket to get me out of this hellhole. If you have any worries that you are one of the people who will be jettisoned, you probably are.

You're all just so goddamned tired and predictable.

Not quite an epiphany:

2005-06-19T22:54:00.000-04:00

Whenever my trains of thought end up in the trainyard, I always remember a few things that are so obvious and basic that it's a wonder they aren't "old sayings". Then I forget them again. Luckily, I was near my computer when I remembered this one:

Every single societal problem I can think of is caused by one of two things. People who take themselves/their causes too seriously, or people who obsess over things.

Seems kind of obvious, I know, but who else writes this shit down? Someone ought to. Also, I had nothing else to write.

NO SUBJECT FOR YOU!

2005-06-15T19:47:00.000-04:00

[Edit]
It turns out that Elena's "fiance" dumped her today. A) I was right. B) Watch the same thing happen to Natasha, and watch me laugh and laugh.

I'm so angry right now, I can't even masturbate. What has put me into such a furor, you say? The stupidity of some women I know. First and foremost, there was the much-publicized cutting-down of Elana A. (I think the "A" stands for " 'airy" (hairy without the "h")). The transcript can be found here: http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=Lord_Guan&tab=weblogs&uid=284764243.

Then there's the wonderful situation with my good "friend" Natasha. I won't explain it all, but basically, she just wants to be friends with me, despite incredible innuendos otherwise. However, instead of doing what's obvious, since EVERYONE already thinks we're a couple, she's decided she's found a "soulmate" in a californian statutory rapist (he's 18, she's 15). I'm sure most of you out there are thinking "Eli, you're just being a jealous stalker-type." Don't get me wrong, I've thought about it that way, and I must say, I probably am. But that's not the issue. The issue is that Natasha, who for so long I dealt with in as pleasant a way as possible, even when everyone around me told me she was too stupid to waste my time with, has finally cemented what I've been trying to ignore for months: some women are just so naive and selfish that there's really no hope for them.

So to all the women I might meet who suffer from B.A.D.G.I.R.L.(BeingADumbassGirlInRidiculousLevels), I say this: Please make as many dumb desicions as possible so that you may learn something.

Sorry, Nat, but Alex was right.

P.S. To the boyfriends of the girls in question: there's no point in denying these allegations, and if you want to, for whatever reason, take it up with me personally, go ahead, you'll lose.

Long Time No See

2005-06-11T18:21:00.000-04:00

Hey folks! I'm back again, this time with a matter of some import: The Rolling Stones suck majorly. Seriously, every time I see a Stones video on VH1 Classic, I burst into laughter. Mick Jagger is the ugliest fag of a singer who ever lived. And he can't sing to save his life. I'm sure secretaries who get drunk and sing Stones songs at karaoke bars sing those lame songs better than Dick Fagger. He's not a singer like Ronnie Van Zant, now there was a frontman. I hope the Rolling Stones tour jet crashes into a mountain of shit.

If I ever lived to be 76, I'd only want to if I could be like

2005-05-11T00:13:00.000-04:00

LINK WRAY! HOLY SHIT! HOW AMAZING!

BB King's also has a fantastic hamburger. It isn't of silver spurs size, but it's ANGUS which makes it infinitely cool. On to the show.

There was an opening band, the RockAts or something, and they were cool, for a band with an accordion player. The Bassist was an upright player with a cool hat, the drummer had a rad bowling shirt, and the guitarist played a gretsch. That's all you need to know.

20 minutes and a fantastic burger later, HE enters the stage, with a vintage sunburst strat, very awesome, and he opens up with "Rumble". A few great songs later, he gets the great idea to hand his guitar to random audience members, most of which suck, and one of which was the most infuriatingly stupid and ugly woman ever, she couldn't even clap in rhythm for god's sake. She should be killed with a brick. Anyway, his guitar breaks, so he throws it onto the ground and starts giving autographs, the second of which he gives to me. Some guy named Jon Paris takes the stage and sings a few Elvis numbers, with Link doing some nice Scotty Moore guitarwork. He closes with "Rumble" again and throws his other guitar on the ground as well. During the show, he must have talked about his son being his boss about 10 times. I shall sum it all up with a haiku:

Link Wray is the best
Dazzles his crowds with his style
Original Punk.

It's 6 in the morning

2005-04-30T06:00:00.000-04:00

Hell, this is the latest I've stayed up at my house. Anyway, it seems the straightedge issue has died down, and good riddance. Just got back from a Doors tribute band, The Soft Parade www.thesoftparade.com, and boy was it good as hell. To bed now, before my brain deteriorates.

Just when I thought people like Spinrad were the worst:

2005-04-29T03:06:00.000-04:00

Just go here and here.

Normally, none of you care enough to comment, but I implore my readership to care about this one.

If there's one thing that brings me out of a slump, it's mocking people mercilessly on the internet. I think I'll have the entirety of this post in th

2005-04-28T03:14:00.000-04:00

e subject line. SHIT IT SPILLED OVER! Oh well.

Someone buy me this tee-shirt:

2005-04-23T01:14:00.000-04:00

http://www.djtees.com/tshop/store/viewItem.asp?idProduct=2785

Then, ride this ride:

2005-04-23T00:45:00.000-04:00

It was a combination of hunger and loneliness that compelled me to order two number 2's at McDonald's today... It was terrifying. It just seems like some guys have all the luck, as they say, and I have none, women-wise, anyway.

On a different note, I thought I might reveal my college plans, with the emphasis on "if any". I figure that I'll only go to college if the application process is relatively easy and I get accepted into the college (and no, I don't mean colleges, you conformist, over-achieveing, sons of bitches) that I apply to, Baruch. Long story short, (big) if I don't make it as a famous rock drummer, I'd be happy as an editor as a career choice.

I think now I'll divulge a little into my thoughts on women's rights, racism, and tolerance in general. First of all, to you women, you can't have it both ways, unless by "both ways" you mean a cock in each hole. What I mean is, if you want coats to be thrown down in the mud, favors to be done, to be able to use your boobs as leverage to get whatever you want, and to avoid being slugged, then you'll have to deal with the fact that you can't possibly have completely equal rights. Constitutionally, even, you shouldn't have equal rights, under the principle of "Separate but equal cannot exist". Of course, this may seem like an un-educated misinterpretation of the constitution, but it isn't. The way people carry on about women's rights would make you think that there are absolutely no differences between the way the two sexes think and handle situations, which there is. Think about it. If women were meant to be equal, then that's the position they would have established way back in yon olde caveman days, when human societal patterns and behaviors were being formed. Don't give me any of this "times have changed" bullshit either, because while it's true times have changed, I haven't seen anything that would make me think that women are suddenly more qualified.

Moving on to the whole issue of tolerance, it strikes me as odd that the very people who hold things like diversity days and other ridiculous events, the bleeding-heart liberals, are the same people who are trying to ruin society with their reckless narrow-mindedness. Think of it this way: having an offensive personality is just as intrinsic as being black or jewish or retarded. Liberals who would take away my graphic films and then go to a rally for civil rights are really the most despicable people of all. And, surprisingly, that's why I like fundamentalist conservatives better than whiny, pansy-ass, hypocritical, and selfish liberals. At least the conservatives don't lie about their intolerance. I have just as much right to pre-judge everyone I see as some whiny fuck has to hold a parade about it.

Speaking of the society that's being ruined, that's another thing I hate about this culture, the idea that everyone should be as well off as everyone else. Last time I checked, this was America, not some goddamned satellite state. If women are being objectified and you don't like it, too bad, that's the hand you were dealt. Same goes for everyone else, if you don't like how you have it here, leave, or better yet, kill yourself. We need land for more mini-golf courses and amusement parks anyway.

Another thing I hate about this culture is the fucking value EVERYONE sees in the preservation of life, case-in-point, the Terry "I Got What I Deserved" Schiavo case. If someone dies, big whoop, especially if that someone was in a bulemia-induced coma for 15 GODDAMNED YEARS! This "I Love LIFE" mantra is the key element to the "I'll gladly give up my liberty and the liberty of others so I can feel better about myself because some half-educated rent-a-cop is going through my luggage and that will stop the "terrorists"" mantra. George Washington was no less a terrorist than Osama Bin Laden, and King George the third no more a tyrant than "Dubya"

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I will enjoy brutally maiming the afore-mentioned groups.

For the record, or something to that effect.

2005-04-12T23:47:00.000-04:00

Many or most of you have probably heard that I was planning on moving to Port Townsend, Washington to finish my senior year and all that rot. Well, after much careful thought, I've decided that, while still a viable possibility, it is unlikely that I will move. However, since almost all of you were in the dark as per my reasoning, and are now in the dark as per my thinking better of it, I will now disclose my reasons for and against going west (young man).

For:
1. Peace from all of the stupidty, maliciousness, backstabbing, pestering, failure, ineptitude, and general bullshit that generally characterizes my readership.
2. It would be a hell of a lot easier out there.
3. Many women all swooning over me live out there.
4. I like my dad a hell of a lot.
5. It's a real party place.
6. I'd be a big fish in a small pond, which is great.
Against:
1. It would leave my yearbook collection incomplete and my school ring finger empty.
2. I'd have to start all over in rebuilding my pawn-dom.
3. My band is in the city, and it's damned good.
4. More money-related luxuries to be found here.
5. I'd miss my bro, and I'm sure, if left to his douchebag friends, he would stray off the moral path.
6. I'd miss a very smallnumber of friends out here.

The against's clearly outweigh the for's, so I guess you all have finally cought a break.

We're goin' in!

2005-04-08T21:19:00.000-04:00

TO SIN CITY!

From www.urbandictionary.com :

2005-04-05T23:36:00.000-04:00

The word "fucking" combined with the A of "ass". Usually used to show agreement, but sometimes used when in serious pain.
1. "Check out the ass on that guy!" "Fucking A! It's gorgeous!"
2. "FUCKING A! I stubbed my toe!"

Suck it, Teo, you fuck!

April Fools!

2005-04-01T21:23:00.001-05:00

In the fashion of ol' April Fools, I've decided to not update ever again.

April Fool

2005-04-01T21:23:00.000-05:00

You know what pisses me off?

2005-03-28T00:07:00.000-05:00

AC/DC tribute singers who wear the wrong fucking hat!! Anyway, expect a full review of the AC/DC tribute scene in a few days, I'm serious this time.

And now for something completely different:

2005-03-24T00:36:00.000-05:00

I've had it. There is no one (female) who will accept me for who and what I am, no society that will ever allow me to succeed, and no one will realize what they were missing until I am gone, if at all. It's 12:36, I'm going to sleep, and for all I care, the lot of you (with a few exceptions) can die.

2005-03-21T23:54:00.000-05:00

The Super Mario Brothers movie is quite possibly the best film ever made.

A challenge:

2005-03-20T20:27:00.000-05:00

I declare that I can use Adolf Hitler and his deeds and life to support any argument.

What a weekend!

2005-03-20T20:22:00.000-05:00

Non-stop partying, my god. If you weren't there, I pity you. Anyway, I figured that it's about time for a bad poetry update, in honor of how shitty all the poetry on the internet is, but I"m not going to do it now, because I can't think that well.

Just for the record:

2005-03-16T19:35:00.000-05:00

There is a need to post hate everywhere, especially when dealing with one so evil as Sylvia.

I was reading amazon.com and...

2005-03-16T08:49:00.000-05:00

It turns out there are hundreds of Michael Jackson fanatics out there, with the zany delusion that he some kind of god (unlike Elvis, who was clinically proven to be divine) and completely innocent of the molestaion charges. I hate topical humor, but I just figured it was necessary for you all to get the scope of this. On amazon, they have a MJ sauce of sorts. I won't ruin the fun for you, but trust me, it's fucking stupid. Now, my message to any Michael Jackson fanatics:

SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU PATHETIC LOSERS!!!! HE DID MOLEST THE CHILDREN, AND HIS FACE IS FALLING OFF!!! IT'S JUST BBQ SAUCE, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!! HIS MUSIC IS CRAP!

Granted, no fans of his ever haunt this webpage, but on the off chance that one does, you may well see a stupid outburst.

[Oh, and read the reviews on the product]

Ask, and ye shall find:

2005-03-13T22:33:00.000-05:00

This is a rip-off of one of Elan's posts, but since no one reads that garbage, I don't care. Furthermore, mine rhymes so it's better.

Ask of me questions numbering 3
I will try to answer truthfully

A bold declaration:

2005-03-09T13:07:00.000-05:00

The '04-'05 school year is now officially "The year of fucked up relationships", both in the verbal and adjectival senses. (I don't care if adjectival isn't a word, but I'm better at English than any of my readers, so I get leeway.)

Ok, the final word on the matter!

2005-03-06T22:33:00.000-05:00

After a civil dinner at Silver Spurs (biggest fucking hamburger I ever ate), the whole Faith/livejournal matter was laid clear, with even a special message from Faith herself beforehand. So I guess she didn't realize my original comment was satire, and alledgedly, I spurred John on, and his comment really got things going. I've probably said this already, but you can FUCKING read it again. There was probably some more stuff, but that huge burger is sapping all of my brain-blood, so I can't remember a lot of things. The point is, Faith isn't nearly as bad as she was, and this was all just a misunderstanding. Oh, except for you, John, everyone hates you now, if they didn't before. Although I'm pretty sure Elan did. Anyway, the point is, that was a huge fucking hamburger, and if any of you decide to fast for a day only to realize what a fucking moron you are for not eating, go to Silver Spurs Diner on 9th and broadway and get yourself one of those colossal sandwiches.

I lied.

2005-03-05T14:57:00.000-05:00

No updates for any of you, leastways regarding the trip. Hate, Rant, Unfounded opinion and so forth. I'm just tired of it all today.

From Rome, Italy

2005-02-26T13:31:00.000-05:00

Here I am at an internet cafe in Rome. You can expect a full synopsis of my trip when I get back.

Check out the new hatness...

2005-02-15T22:59:00.000-05:00

Who-Wray

2005-02-06T22:17:00.000-05:00

Patriots won.

Suck it.

A picture's worth 1000 words.

2005-02-06T19:04:00.000-05:00

Attention To Detail.

2005-02-03T15:39:00.000-05:00

Andrew here. And I bring Good News!

Eli has had this blog for a few months and neglected to tell me that the Archives weren't working. And, more than likely, you, the reader, didn't bother to click on the archives, because you don't give a shit what Eli was doing last month. But I digress...

So, I fixed it. Now, all of Eli's posts are in The Archive of the Covenant... literally.

Anyway, I'd like to personally apologize to everyone, (except for Teo.)

Goddamned anti-free speech people.

2005-02-02T20:56:00.000-05:00

Ok, there was some hub-bub about some song made (alledgedly) at the expense of the tsunami victims. After all the build-up and commotion (including a song made by super(fag poser lameass)-rapper Jin (http://www.jinsite.com/), I wanted to see if it was a great as tales said. Anyway, my brother was playing the song for me and the only thing that I found offensive was how bad the song was. I could have pulled better jokes at the expense of tradgedy out of my ass. And for any of you whiny liberal PC douchebags who come a-complaining to me about how I should be sensitive and humane and all of that other bullshit, I say this: when I heard that the UN declared the Sudan happenings NOT genocide, I laughed out loud. That's right, that's the value I place on life. Wait no, it's the lives of strangers who don't affect me in anyway SO WHO GIVES A FUCK!! Honestly! If people gave up the facade that they actually love or feel for these people, or did or said anything that could help them, I'd be a lot happier. But you fucks just want the attention, and the smug-ass satisfaction you get when you are idolized by even dumber assholes. Actually caring and saying you do are 2 different things, and a sad number of people are in the latter category. Just get over your pious bullshit and admit you are no less scum than the people who did that stupid tsunami song. You probably laughed before condemning it in front of your left-wing shit-ass friends.

Goddamit! Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you in the ass!

2005-01-31T16:07:00.000-05:00

It turns out we're getting evicted on april 30th 2006 because our goddamned nigger-lover landlord wants our apartment. There's too much anger to write more.

You know who I hate?

2005-01-20T23:54:00.000-05:00

People. Especially the ones who comment anonymously on my website. Go swallow rusty nails, you limp-dick fag-fuckers, or grow a pair, or a brain, and sign your comments. Henceforth unsigned comments are deleted comments.

You fuckers make me sick

2005-01-17T23:23:00.000-05:00

Honestly. I'm gone for 3 days and I come back to this? I've lost faith in my viewership, so I think
I'll just write hate articles about everyone I know, just to be safe.

In other news, the only thing gayer than all of you is airport security, and if I wasn't so hopping mad, I'd tell you why.

Furthermore, for those who accuse me of being a maddox rip-off, you should see his second to latest. Clearly, that malicious, mustached man was an idiot the whole time, and we only just now found it out. If you are too stupid to figure out what I'm referencing (likely) here is the link.

For those of you who will come whining to me that he was being sarcastic the whole time, take note:

Elansam (11:41:28 PM): dude...
Elansam (11:41:31 PM): he's being sarcastic
Elansam (11:41:37 PM): he hates Ben Stiller
CrazedCommando (11:41:56 PM): no, that's a subject that even sarcasm isnt enough to hide behind

Post-Game Analysis

2005-01-11T16:52:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm still alive, and word around the office is that all involved parties had a good laugh at the whole affair. I also hear tell that there is currently forming an Anti-Eli Coalition, but what do I care? Like I said before, I'd rather live in infamy than obscurity, and here I am living out my dream. But that's all there is to say on the matter.

In other news, Led Zeppelin is a good band that I grossly underrated, but AC/DC and Elvis are still better.

You know what I hate? Anti-tobacco lobbyists. But since I ain't got time for jibba-jabba, I won't explain it to you.

Thanks a lot, anonymous poster #2

2005-01-10T23:26:00.000-05:00

Your completely true comment, "Fuck this shit. Why are you such a fucking asshole that you have to post this fucking shit online. if you have a problem with anyone take it up with them yourself and dont take the pussy way out and post some stupid shit online, especially if your later just going to claim that its a joke. you are one sorry ass mother fucker if you find it funny to talk shit about some kid you hardly know and are probably just jealous of behind there back. to be honest, ben has a shitload of friends who, unlike you are not afraid to take shit up with people to their face. so just watch it and dont ever talk shit about my friend again, dead serious just watch yourself tomorrow." Has really struck a nerve. Now let me dissect your little diatribe.

Why are you such a fucking asshole that you have to post this fucking shit online.

Would you rather me print up fliers and distribute them around school?

if you have a problem with anyone take it up with them yourself and dont take the pussy way out and post some stupid shit online, especially if your later just going to claim that its a joke.

I'm going to get carpal tunnel (or however the fuck you spell it) syndrome telling you all that there isn't, and never was, any problem. Just a fat internet nerd's way of venting teenage angst. And I didn't later claim it was a joke, this site, as well as my xanga, has never been taken seriously by anyone who read it until now.

you are one sorry ass mother fucker if you find it funny to talk shit about some kid you hardly know and are probably just jealous of behind there back.

Well there's a novel thought. Almost everyone gossips, and I won't deny that I'm jealous of Ben. Consider that a victory, if you want. I don't give 2 shits.

to be honest, ben has a shitload of friends who, unlike you are not afraid to take shit up with people to their face.

Ok, you definitely should not have added this one in. Posting on the comment section is hardly taking shit up in my face. You should have just sucker-punched me in-between classes. But then I'd've sued, and won in the end.

so just watch it and dont ever talk shit about my friend again, dead serious just watch yourself tomorrow.

If not for this last sentence, I'd have shaken this all of as a big bunch of unpleasantness. Now this part is for Ben. Ben, regardless of the fact that I said I wanted to chop off your dick, and that I hated your abercrombie and fitch clothes, clearly, your rabid friend has gone too far. It's gotten to where a kid needs to consider bringing a hammer to school to protect his right to free speech.

My final word on the subject: This is almost exactly the same thing as what happened to another Ben, who said some shit about Lewis Dvorkin (his situation a little more severe, methinks). Point is, I won't be harassed at school for some obvious bullshit I posted on a website. Now, I won't go all "columbine" as some have suggested, but I will take these threats to the highest authority, regardless of what it does to my reputation. You guys are like crazed fanatics, and you all need to calm the fuck down.

The End.

IF PEOPLE ARE STILL GOOGLING "BEN SPINRAD" THEY OUGHT TO READ THIS!!!

2005-01-10T20:04:00.000-05:00

Or not, whatever. Since someone aptly named "anonymous" has made a threat against my life, I figure I might as well tell my adoring public so they know whatever tragic (And wholly undeserved) fate befalls me. A long way back, I wrote an article, myah: http://www.crazedcommando.com/2004/10/you-know-what-i-hate.html

It appears some fool gone done taken it seriously, so I guess I have to clear things up. I already gave my list of reasons why the angry people commenting on my site are jackasses, so let me just sum it up real quick: THIS IS ALL A BIG JOKE!! HAHA! FUNNY! And to any of you that will probably say "oh, you're just saying that to cover your ass, which I'm still gonna kick", I say: FUCK YOU. That's right, fuck you right in your swollen, leaky asshole. I put up with enough shit at school that I don't need a bunch of clods threatening me. So now its my turn to threaten. If you all decide to "jump" me, you had better kill me, because the second I come out of that coma, no force on this earth will stop me from killing you. You can enter in the witness protection program, you can set homeland security on me, you can try to get me expelled. But I'll be back in a month or 2, with a big club, or one of my many swords.

Of course, the likelyhood of all that going down is slim, because I'm sure Ben (and friends of Ben) will realize that I'm just an internet jerk with a tendency to hate and belittle for no reason. They'll forget about me, and forget about this crappy little website.

And for the record, I never called him a poser, getta you fucking facts straight. Mammamia

-E

P.S. Sorry to Ben Spinrad and band for having my site show up before your band's when you do a google. A great injustice has "Ben" done. Haha, that's a pun. And a Rhyme. Every time.

Whoop-de-do

2005-01-09T22:55:00.000-05:00

Note that the title has nothing to do with the following post; my PR guy said abstract titles sell.

Anyway, I'm really only updating because I'm sick of that shit-ridden post from New Years being on top. I have nothing to rant about at the time, and no news that any of you fucks would care about. If you didn't see it here: http://www.livejournal.com/users/fuxd/23066.html, I made a very convincing case against Jimi Hendrix's place as best guitarist. The point is, well I have no point, but my sharp wit is still the pointiest!

Happy fucking new years

2005-01-01T17:18:00.000-05:00

Woohoo! Another year of zany adventures and madcap hijinks! And to start the year off, here's a comic strip from funnyman extraordinaire Teo:

Schmuck 1 - I'm really glad my doctor game me Xanthanx -
the flu sucks

Schmuck 2 - Hold on there, wasnt Xanthax removed from the
market for inducing suicide?

Schmuck 1 - Pfft nonsense, stop being such a naive prick
and help me fit your toaster in the bathtub.

Mail all bombs to 117 w26th street 10010 ny, ny if you didn't like it

Merry Christmas, fuckers!

2004-12-24T20:23:00.001-05:00

Here's some song lyrics, because I'm a lazy asshole. Appropriate to the season, methinks.

Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the day
I just can’t wait till christmas time
When I can grope you in the hay

Easy come, easy go
Have a good time with lots of dough
Slippin’ up high, slippin’ down low
Love’m and leave’m on with the show

Listen, I like female form in minimal dress
Money to spend with a capital ’s’
Get a date with the woman in red
Wanna be in heaven with three in a bed

He got it, I want it
They got it, I can’t have it
But I want it, it don’t matter
She got it, but I can’t get it
I want a mistress for christmas

Easy come, easy go
Slippin’ high, slippin’ low

He got it, I want it
They got it, I can’t have it
I want it, don’t matter
She got it, and I can’t get a -
Mistress for christmas

You know what I’m talkin’ about
I want the woman in red with bow in my bed

I can hear you coming down my smoke stack
I wanna ride on your raindeer honey and ring the bells, yeah.

In a perfect world...

2004-12-20T17:00:00.000-05:00

Scene: An office, during lunch break. Present are a white, chinese, black, jewish, and mexican worker.

Whitey: Did you get my memo, Darkie?
Darkie: yessuh, I sho' did. I'ma get ta work on runnin them papers over to the human resources dept. exits
Whitey: Ah, having deliveries stuffed into basketballs and having hoops for inboxes was a great idea. Chinkey, did you finish computing the company's projected sales for 2010? I gave you the assignment 10 minutes ago!
Chinkey: ahhh so! projected sares are 10 birrion dorrars, give or take a few pennies.
Heebey: A few pennies! Take them! Covet them! Invest them and turn in a huge profit! Buy more bagels!
Whitey: Easy there, Heebey. Here, take these ducats and start a successful accounting firm.
Heebey exits, foaming at the mouth
Whitey: So all that remains is to give Beaney his assignment, say, Bean-- asleep again! Well, we love him anyway!

[Due to my need to live up to my reputation as an equal opportunity offender, here is some bonus footage or whatever]

Scene: the office at night, present is Whitey.

Whitey: huddled in a corner with dice, an assortment of books, and some junkfood: Yes! I rolled a 20! My level 23 wizard casts fireball! snorting with laughter, which transforms into tears. I am so utterly alone! there is no cohesion betwixt the white man, no brotherhood! moves to his computer, beginning a long, un-fufilling masturbation process largely involving japanese anime-porn. This is my life! woe unto me! I shall snuff out my life, like a small white candle! opens a window and walks onto the ledge. Ok, here I go.... looks down. Argh! I forgot that white men can't jump! Curses that I must live out my remaining years in utter misery! Well, at least I can quench my thirst for schadenfreude, by robbing my co-workers blind! Bwahahahah! in the darkness, something stirs. What's that, then? Darkie, is that you? shuffling continues, louder and louder. Stay away from me-- ACK! Whitey suffers from a fatal heart attack and falls off the ledge.

Do you want to know who it was, shuffling in the distance? It was none other than Max, looking for his lost love, Mina. Keep on shufflin', Max!

[so ends the special feature, If you think it was bad, then you can chomp a cock]

The moral of the story is, when people realize that there are differences between races, we can harness these special talents to increase productivity.

New Strip

2004-12-13T17:10:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking of creating a comic strip titled "in a perfect world" or some such bullshit. Anywho, the first strip I ever make will go like this:

Enter, stage right, a woman, approaching the payroll guy at an office
Payroll guy gives her her check
she "ahems"
He backhands her, and gives her that remaining 24 cents to the dollar.

FINITO!

A week's time

2004-12-08T16:49:00.000-05:00

Well as most of you know, WoW has been taking up all of my time. So rather than bitch and whine about how lonely I may be, or what a hollow lie of a life I'm leading, I think I'll play WoW.

What News?

2004-12-01T14:59:00.001-05:00

rask, I"ve got nothing, it was just bugging me that I hadn't updated. But here's something that will spark massive controversy: Led Zeppelin is nowhere near as good as AC/DC. In fact, it's nowhere near as good as a lot of things. Suck on that, you damned musical fanboys

What News?

2004-12-01T14:59:00.000-05:00

Heh, I found a website that I am absolutely sure will be just like my ex's in a few years. Special reccomendation: The not so lucky guys page. For those who knew what talking to Sylvia online was like, you'll see the uncanny resemblance. http://packedpowder.com/pigeonkara/

P.S. If you still read this, Sylvia, then you should know that I still miss you, but you done me wrong.

SUNDAY NIGHT

2004-11-28T23:56:00.000-05:00

Well god, nothing new under the sun here, leastways not since friday. There were angry thoughts earlier, but they are gone now. Leave a message.

Happy Thanksgiving, ye scurvies!

2004-11-26T15:50:00.000-05:00

I finally tore a copy of World of Warcraft form a dead Korean's icy cold clutches. Anyway, I have nothing new to write about, so I'll entertain you with some profound thoughts from my old xanga:

This Gem is from October the 7th, 2004:

God fucking dammit, I've got the beginning of school sickness. It's like withdrawl from vacation or something. Coughing, sneezing, and other such stupid shit. Anyway, this one's about music. As you can tell, I have the best musical taste under the sun, and I should be the sole judge on what is good and what isn't. But what pisses me off more than people who like shitty music (I.E. KORN and Limp Bizkit and any Rap or Hip-Hop, EMO, etc) are stupid people who hate good music. Even though Teo's made some foolish remarks on this subject, I forgive him because at least you can call what he listens to music. Anyway, this is getting lengthy and boring, so we can change the subject.

Ok, we can't change the subject because I'm too sick to think of anything else. So anyway, I was playing counterstrike yesterday and I was asking if anyone listened to AC/DC and this one stupid asshole said "AC/DC is for queers" in the gayest voice imaginable. I yelled him out of the game, I did, but the point remains: some people are too stupid to be allowed to choose their music. Anyway, this update was a filler update, no real substance or quality, but at least I admit it *cough teo, elan cough*

Waitaminit, I just thought of something. Fuck, I forgot it.

A guy in Romania cut off his penis thinking it was a chicken neck, and his dog ran up and ate it.

Oh fuck, I remembered what I was gonna say: I talk to a lot of people younger than me, and I ask them "what kind of music are you into" and they invariably reply: "rock". If that isn't the most vague fucking thing you can say, then I don't know what is. Then I ask, "what bands in particular" and they go ahead and spew a thousand gay-sounding names and when I actually have the time to check them out I think to myself, "Oi! This isn't rock! this is pop trash! I've been cheated!" So the next time anyone says that they like "rock" and go ahead to list non-rock bands, I'm gonna sock them in the kidneys.

GGGRAGHASK

2004-11-23T23:15:00.000-05:00

Those damned Koreans bought up all the copies and now I have to wait for thursday!!

WOW it's Wow!

2004-11-22T22:45:00.000-05:00

YAYA It COMES OUT TOMMOROW!!!

Anyway, only 3 days this week, always a plus. I think I'm gonna write the rest of this in my patended Dwarven Dialect: So, what else can Ae wraete about? Th' Doors es th' latest band o' note. Hrm..... Ye're all a bunch o' lelly-levered sods! Go soak yer beards! HAR HAR, what fun!

I hate people who:

2004-11-19T21:59:00.000-05:00

Say Elvis was a sell-out and a corporate machine. I can't prove he wasn't, but that brings me to another point: I hate people who expect me to back up every argument that I make. I'd give specific examples, but you dont deserve them. Ha ha, just jimming (the contrarian's alternative to "joshing"). Anyway, since this is turning into a full-fledged rant, I also hate people who say the godfather is better than Return of the King. Albeit, I've never seen the Godfather, but if you think that matters, read above, you sod. It's an old crusty movie, so get over it and get with the times.

Congrats on what would have been our 6-month anniversary

2004-11-16T19:10:00.000-05:00

think I need congradulating on not having written one sappy poem song lyric, or livejournal post since the breakup, and being absent that wednesday was more a matter of convenience than anything else; I hadn't done my homework. Anyway, dont you just love when you root around in a storage space and find neat junk from your past? I do too. There was something good I was gonna talk about, but all the dust in my lungs is interfering with my thought.

I hate being sick

2004-11-13T18:08:00.000-05:00

There it is, no more to say about it. Anyway, it seems like the online community hans't had anything good for a while, and I'm not about to break that running streak! The internet makes you stupid, as they say, and as far as I am concerned, they are right. Just look at the hardcore gaming community, and you'll see rotting brains. BRAINS!!!! I'm so sick I dont make sense! AHAHA! You'll still read this!! AHAHAHAHAH!

WOW its WoW!

2004-11-11T11:33:00.000-05:00

World of Warcraft beta is here! YAYAYAYAY! Anyway, I did promise something about regular updates, so here are some song lyrics (HAH ANDREW)

There was a friend of mine on murder
And the judge's gavel fell
Jury found him guilty
Gave him sixteen years in hell
He said "I ain't spending my life here
I ain't living alone
Ain't breaking no rocks on the chain gang
I'm breakin' out and headin' home"

Gonna make a jailbreak
And I'm lookin' towards the sky
I'm gonna make a jailbreak
Oh, how I wish that I could fly

All in the name of liberty
All in the name of liberty
Got to be free

Jailbreak, let me out of here
Jailbreak, sixteen years ah
Jailbreak, had more than I can take
Jailbreak, yeah

He said he'd seen his lady being fooled with
By another man
She was down and he was up
Had a gun in his hand
Bullets started flying everywhere
And people started to scream
Big man lying on the ground
With a hole in his body
Where his life had been

But it was all in the name of liberty
All in the name of liberty
I got to be free

Jailbreak, jailbreak
I got to break out
Out of here

Heartbeats, they were racin'
Freedom, he was chasin'
Spotlights, sirens, rifles firing
But he made it out
With a bullet in his back

Jailbreak, jailbreak
Jailbreak, jailbreak
Jailbreak, jailbreak
Jailbreak, jailbreak
Jailbreak, jailbreak

Why I love me:

2004-11-09T17:58:00.000-05:00

Hurrah for my timely bounce-back. Anyway, you can expect the same deprived, angry, unfounded observations you were used to, and song lyrics. Regular updates too.

Why I hate women:

2004-11-05T17:01:00.000-05:00

Well everyone has been glad to offer me their two-bit advice, now that I have been left. Every time I turn around, its "there are more fish in the sea" this and "Get over it, dude" that. Not that the concern isn't appreciated, but you get the idea. Anyway, JP was the one to add the most crucial advice: "Don't tell the woman that you love them; as soon as you do, the interest goes". I didn't believe him at first, the very idea seemed so preposterous. I was reading AMNewYork this morning, and as I was scanning through the pages, a dating tips article stuck out among the half-developed opinion articles. The number one item on the list was : "Wait at least 3 months. A guy who says 'I love you' when the relationship is less than 3 months old might-as-well say, 'You know what I love? Being a chump. An unattractive, desparate chump that you will never want to have sex with again'." Anyway, I guess if two people said it, it has to be true. The point? Love is but a game to women, and guys who don't want to play get fucked over. Or sometimes they cheat (HILARIOUS ANALOGY/DOUBLE ENTENDRE).

I hate society.

Another day, another... shitty day

2004-11-04T22:04:00.000-05:00

Well things are still unwell in my head, and well goddammit. I'm starting to get pissed off.... Maybe there is a GED in my future....

The shocking aftermath:

2004-11-03T16:29:00.000-05:00

Well Bush won, and fair and square. It just shows that some people just can't decide things for themselves. Anyway, enough about that, lets talk about the other aftermath: I'm just emotionally spent. I daresay that I will get out of this slump, and soon. So without further ado, the end of this update.

More News:

2004-11-02T23:43:00.000-05:00

No, I was wrong, I'm not even close to over her. This sucks major balls. I really hope I wake up tommorow and find out it was all a joke.

News Flash:

2004-11-02T16:36:00.000-05:00

I'm already mostly over it. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I dont get sad. Secondly, enough of this "don't be a druggie, Eli" business. I'm not going to be any more than I already am, and there isn't a goddam thing anyone can do to stop me at this point.

Worst day ever?

2004-11-02T14:45:00.001-05:00

Well it's finally happened, Sylvia broke up with me; before I continue, I just want to say that if anyone makes any snide remark (excepting Elan, because I was a dick) Not only will I never speak to you again, I will beat you half to death. Getting on with it, I don't know how I feel, but it's bad. Very bad. Anyway, here comes a long period of violent mysogyny and drug abuse.

Halloweeny fun:

2004-10-31T22:02:00.000-05:00

Haha, just kidding, mo fun for you ingrates. Anyway, my Saw review:

A Great Movie

HAHA Wasn't that great? Moving on, my mom was reading an article in the NY Times about "Rockism" which I thougt was incredibly stupid. It discussed music critics who only like music that "rocks" and are scornful of lip-synchers, pop-trash and other unsavory musical items. As she was reading this, and the writer (a woman) feebly pointed out the faults of the "Rockists" and every time I thought: 'so?'. Apparently it's now a crime to have an opinion about music that doesn't agree with the bleeding-heart liberal's skewed sense of open-mindedness. The point is, contrary to the writer's idea, that Rock 'n' Roll does remain the kingly body of music these days, and without it, I'd burn every radio I came across with disgust. People get sort of patronizing when baby boomers and gen x'ers say "they dont make music like they used to", when they don't realize that it is completely true. Thank god for bands like THE STROKES and Stalin's 'Stache; without them, music would be dead, just like TV and art already are.

More Lyrics! YAY!

2004-10-29T23:09:00.000-04:00

All you women who want a man of the street
But you don't know which way you wanna turn
Just keep a coming and put your hand out to me
'Cause I'm the one who's gonna make you burn
I'm gonna take you down - down, down, down
So don't you fool around
I'm gonna pull it, pull it, pull the trigger
Shoot to thrill, play to kill
Too many women with too many pills
Shoot to thrill, play to kill
I got my gun at the ready, gonna fire at will

Yeah

I'm like evil, I get under your skin
Just like a bomb that's ready to blow
'Cause I'm illegal, I got everything
That all you women might need to know
I'm gonna take you down - yeah, down, down, down
So don't you fool around
I'm gonna pull it, pull it, pull the trigger
Shoot to thrill, play to kill
Too many women with too many pills
Shoot to thrill, play to kill
I got my gun at the ready, gonna fire at will
'Cause I shoot to thrill, and I'm ready to kill
I can't get enough, I can't get the thrill
I shoot to thrill, play to kill
Yeah, pull the trigger
Pull it, pull it, pull it, pull the trigger

Oh

Shoot to thrill, play to kill
Too many women, with too many pills
I said, shoot to thrill, play to kill
I got my gun at the ready, gonna fire at will
'Cause I shoot to thrill, and I'm ready to kill
And I can't get enough, and I can't get my thrill
'Cause I shoot to thrill, play it again

Yeah

Shoot you down
YeahI'm gonna get you to the bottom and shoot you
I'm gonna shoot you
Oh hoo yeah yeah yeah
I'm gonna shoot you down yeah yeah
I'm gonna get you down
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Shoot you, shoot you, shoot you, shoot you down
Shoot you, shoot you, shoot you down
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ooooooh
I'm gonna shoot to thrill
Play to kill
Shoot to thrill

yeah, ooh yeah

Stay tuned for "Saw" review!